After this week's episode of The Real Housewives of D.C., it's time to call it: They're the worst set of Housewives in the franchise.
There was so much potential, and I wanted to like it as much as I have the Housewives of every other city, really I did. But besides Michaele and Tareq Salahi and their insanity and infiltrations, there's just nothing there to fill the hour -- nothing interesting at least.
Instead we had to see Mary Schmidt Amons talk to one of her daughters about eating Ho Hos in bed. Ho Hos!
We also got a tour of Lynda Erkiletian's house, complete with multiple shots of the dog marking his territory. And that was after a good chunk of time debating whether Lynda should live in the city or the suburbs.
We're talking edge-of-your-seat stuff here, people.
Then we had to endure Cat Ommanney debating health care reform (bitchily, of course) with Republican lobbyist Edwina Rogers. I'm going to reserve comment on Edwina and her ... uh, interesting ways, since she got taken away in an ambulance at the end of the show for unknown reasons.
To spice things up, Cat sported a Sarah Palin costume for Edwina's party. The only result: She looked like an idiot ... though an idiot who really did look quite a bit like Sarah.
Even the shocking allegations that Mary's daughter Lolly may be under investigation by the FBI turned out to be a lot of fluff.
A drunken Tareq broke news of Molly's involvement in the stealing of his $90,000 car and $25,000 worth of polo equipment and supposedly bragging about it on Facebook. The details were a little murky, as Tareq was a little drunk.
"There's a federal investigation going on ... and everyone is going to jail," he declared.
Mary was devastated at being hit with this news out of the blue, but it was Tareq, of course, who wanted sympathy.
"We're the victims here," he said. "It's not about poor Lolly."
Poor Lolly denied involvement, expect for the fact that she posted something about it on Facebook -- which is a little suspect.
But neither the police nor the FBI had record of her being investigated, so perhaps the Salahis just made the whole thing up. Which is low if true, but at least it pulled the show along for a little while.
We also got to hear Michaele's version of Cinderella in which she believes she's Cinderella, and Mary, Cat, and Lynda are the evil stepmother and stepsisters. If that makes Tareq a prince, I'll take a frog any day, thank you very much.
Michaele also filled a few minutes with her PSA on the dangers of social media:
"That's the power of Facebook, so be careful. If you're out there doing crazy things, it's going to come back."
This stuff does not a good Housewives show make, and these women are giving the drama queens that have gone before them a bad name.
Could somebody flip a table please?
Does anyone like The Real Housewives of D.C.?