How to Insult Someone Like a Jersey Housewife

Julie Ryan Evans

Caroline ManzoApparently, the nauseating hug fest we saw on the final reunion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey did nothing to stop the drama between the ladies. Shocking, I know.

In her first post-show interview, Danielle Staub took to calling Teresa Giudice an ape, but not just any old ape -- she had a specific one in mind.

"She needs a hairline revision," Staub told Steppin' Out Magazine. "Planet of the Apes has nothing on her! She reminds me of Cornelius from Planet of the Apes. Could you imagine if her face is that hairy what her body hair must be like? It's got to be out of control."

Where did all that love go?

When it comes to insulting each other, the ladies from New Jersey certainly know how to go for the low blows. Here are some of the best disses they've dished at each other in recent memory and some tips on delivery:

It's always good to go after one's children:

"And here's a little message for Teresa: 'My kids wore lace and crinoline at those ages. My dogs wore leopard.'" -- Danielle to Teresa

"Your kids are 16 and 12. What kind of example are you setting for your kids? ... Bitch, I don't talk about you! I'm doing it right now cause we're on a freaking TV show ... You skanky whore." -- Teresa to Danielle

Bonus points for using the word "skanky."

Redundancy helps get your point across:

"Prostitution whore!" -- Teresa to Danielle in the infamous table-flipping scene

And don't forget your good grammar:

"You're not no matriarch of MY family." -- Danielle to Caroline Manzo

Repeat your favorite insults as often as possible:

"And when I called you garbage, I meant it.” -- Caroline to Danielle

Give your victim a choice when it comes to what you call them:

"I don't want to call you honey, bitch. Is bitch better?" Teresa to Danielle

Be sure that you always make sense and throw around words that make you feel tough:

"She's acting like an ass. An ass acts like that." "She can go scratch my ass." -- Kim G. speaking of Danielle

Feel free to borrow any of these for your own insulting purposes. Of course it helps if you do things like flip tables while you're hurling them.

What are your favorite insults from The Real Housewives of New Jersey?


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