Britney SpearsWhen celebrities speak, the world listens. And then we laugh.

Here are 15 of our favorite stupid celebrity quotes. Reading them will make you instantly feel smarter.

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

I'm getting the feeling that he may not know exactly what the term "gay" implies. Swell governor choice, California.

2. Mariah Carey: "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Relating skinny people to poor starving children probably isn't the wisest choice if you want to earn fans. Or respect.

3. Brooke Shields: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Yes, you have. The whole living/breathing part is kind of important.

4. Paris Hilton: "What's Walmart, do they sell, like, wall stuff?"

Oh, so close.

5. Jessica Simpson: "Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken by the Sea."

Tuna, chicken, fish ... oh my god, this is so confusing!

6. Britney Spears: "I get to go overseas places, like Canada."

Maybe she's counting the Great Lakes?

7. Britney Spears: "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

Never mind, this girl is just geographically challenged.

8. George W. Bush: "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"

Us are smart. We is the United States of America. That our former president.

9. Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

Please tell me that she's pretending to be her character, Cher, from the movie.

10. Victoria Beckham: "I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football."

Mind you, she's married to one of the most famous soccer players in the world. If she's that clueless, what could these two possibly have in common?

11. David Beckham: "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."

Touche.

12. Axl Rose: "It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."

Yeah, that's not so much to ask, is it?

13. Christina Aguilera: "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"

And we have another geography wiz folks.

14. Winona Ryder: "I feel my best when I'm happy."

As opposed to sad, upset, disappointed, angry, mad ... wow, me too! We, like, have so many things in common. Let's be BFFs.

15. Tara Reid: "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rocket scientist."

Which earns you a spot on this list.

Which is your favorite stupid celebrity quote?

 

Image via EuPaparazzi/Flickr