Taylor Lautner & Push-Up Competitions: Why Didn't We Think of This Before?

Taylor Lautner
Gimme mah trailer, or I may start crying
It's Taylor Lautner vs. Robert Pattinson Brent McMahon, aka the owner of an RV dealership who didn't have Lautner's custom $300,000 trailer set up on time on the set of his new movie, Abduction.

Apparently Lautner is suing for $40,000 over "emotional distress."

Though I'm sure Lautner and his 28 abs lead a difficult, trying existence, the biggest head-scratcher of all is how McMahon proposed to settle the lawsuit:

A push-up competition!


Why didn't Edward and Jacob think of this? Clearly it'd be the best way to decide who would be most worthy of Bella's affection. And would take far less novels.

This proposition also could have helped with all the other seemingly equally stupid lawsuits in the celebrity world. Who do you think would win?

Lindsay Lohan vs. the E-Trade Baby: My bet is on the baby.

Carol Burnett vs. Stewie from Family Guy: Burnett sued over the use of the show parodying her as a cleaning woman in a porn shop and using an altered version of The Carol Burnett Show theme song. Stewie should probably get started on the steroids ... can't even imagine how many lawsuits this show has to deal with on a daily basis.

Jon Gosselin vs. Kate Gosselin: Come on, who wouldn't tune in to watch this one? These two would probably jump all over this to be in the spotlight for 15 more seconds.

Miley Cyrus vs. All Asian People: One not so special day, Miley and her (most likely on something) group of friends posed in a photo making their eyes look slanted. So some woman sued Miley on behalf of my entire race ... for $4 billion. Considering I can't do a push-up, I wouldn't mind taking a slice of that billion-dollar pie.

50 Cent vs. the Taco Bell Chihuahua: 50 Cent sued the restaurant chain for using his name without permission. Not sure he's gained back the weight after looking completely emaciated in May, so he may have to think twice about a push-up competition.

Jersey Shore Cast vs. the Entire Jersey Shore: It seems that everyone is suing those fight-happy Jersey Shore cast members nowadays. Let's hope all the G from their GTLing pays off.

Ron Livingston vs. a Dork on Wikipedia: Apparently someone kept changing Livingston's Wikipedia entry and called him "A Gay." Since no one can really track down who edits what on Wikipedia, the suit was filed against "John Doe." Good thing this is a push-up competition, as Livingston doesn't appear to be all that bright ...

Settling these disputes in an entertaining matter of minutes sounds like a lot more fun than lawyers and courtrooms and obscene amounts of money, doesn't it? Maybe McMahon is on to something ...

And watching Taylor Lautner do a bunch of sweaty push-ups? I'll see you there.

Do you think Lautner should accept McMahon's push-up proposal? How weird is this story?


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