Last week's Star magazine featured a collection of embarrassing Hollywood celebrity secrets supposedly revealed by the assistants to Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and more.
Personally, I tend to believe the great majority of what Star reports is fabricated by a team of interns who are doing their damnedest to make something of their Creative Writing major, and I'm not sure there's really a group of celebrity Deep Throats out there spilling the dirt on what their bosses do behind closed doors.
But then again, maybe there is. Let's go to the gossip and take a reality check.
Kourtney and Kim Kardashian Are Slave-Drivers.
The claim: Star says Kourtney makes her assistant ride in the trunk of her Range Rover when the car's full, while Kim asks her assistants to stay out on the front lawn when she's having guests over in order to make sure everyone walks on the stone path instead of on the lawn.
My call: YAWN. This is dirt? A Range Rover trunk is bigger than my first apartment, so the idea that someone might sit back there doesn't exactly make me want to speed-dial Amnesty International. And the lawn thing, well, I guess that might fall under "eccentric," but again, not a huge crazy deal. I say: potentially true, and also, who cares.
Britney Spears Acts Like a Baby, Eats Crap Food.
The claim: According to the article, Britney talks in a baby voice all the time and throws tantrums if she can't get her way. Employees are on call 24/7 for soda and Starbucks runs, and she recently sent an employee out for an orange soda after midnight.
My call: Color me totally unsurprised at the idea of Britney acting like a freak and demanding junk food. Girlfriend's eating habits are the only thing nastier than her extensions.
Mariah Carey Guzzles Cristal and Pizza.
The claim: Mariah Carey supposedly has demanded a bottle of Cristal be kept on ice each night for her bath, which she would drink through bendy straws in order to keep her lipstick intact. Now that she's either pregnant or trying to get pregnant, she lies on the couch and makes her assistant feed her ice cream or pizza.
My call: The Cristal thing sounds believable -- although I don't know about the bendy straw -- but I don't buy the idea of diva Mariah flopped on a couch mainlining Domino's. Caviar, maybe.
Tori Spelling Hires Only Gay Dudes.
The claim: Tori Spelling only employs gay men on her household staff, in order to make sure her husband Dean McDermott doesn't get a wandering eye.
My call: Let's see, he dumped his wife to jump on the Spelling money train, and Tori now weighs approximately 40 pounds soaking wet. Yeah, I could see him banging a hot nanny. Points to Tori for creativity if this is true.
Angelina Jolie Talks in Crazy Accents.
The claim: Angelina Jolie loves to speak in foreign accents, and channels different characters depending on her mood. When she's mad, she talks like a Russian spy; when she's feeling flirty, she pretends to be a French waitress; when she's eating, she talks with an Italian accent.
My call: This sounds like something spun out of the Gossip Bullshit-O-Meter. I mean, "eating"? Angelina doesn't DO that.
Miley Cyrus Is a Flasher.
The claim: Miley Cyrus thinks it's hilarious to greet first-time guests at the door and "shock them by showing some skin."
My call: Oh come on, how would anyone be shocked? We've all already seen pretty much everything Miley has to offer.
What do you guys think? Do any of these rumors sound believable to you?
Image via Starmagazine.com