I would love to write a recap one week about The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C., that isn't dominated by Michaele and Tareq Salahi. But dammit, their craziness is just so crazy everything else kind of pales.
This week, we heard the first rumblings of the Salahis (aka the White House Crashers) sneaking into events to which they're not invited. It appears to be a perpetual pastime for the couple.
Jason, a celebrity stylist, recounted how the Salahis invited him and another guest to attend the Congressional Black Caucus Dinner with them. Only instead of handing them their tickets when they arrived, the Salahis showed them the door -- a side door they had to sneak through to get into the event, which was attended by President Obama.
He said at one point during the evening the Salahis were kicked out by Secret Service, but somehow ended up in the VIP section later.
They're sneaky ones, those Salahis, and things just never seem to add up with them.
As the whole crew (minus Lynda who's still pissed at Michaele) headed out to Virginia for a grape stomp at Oasis Winery -- the Salahis' vineyard -- they got a call from Tareq who told them where to park and gave a little WARNING.
"We really want to make sure you're safe and protected. We've got some security here. We can't wait to see you and welcome you with a glass of Oasis Chardonnay. Cheers! "
"Some" security was about half a SWAT team of men in suits with earpieces and guns blanketing the winery, which is out in the middle of nowhere Virginia.
Why the need? Tareq's 60-something mother.
Apparently, she and his ailing father have been feuding with Tareq for years over the winery (it's currently in bankruptcy) and finances. He said she likes to mess with their events.
So either the crazy doesn't fall far from the tree, or (as more evidence suggests) he's so slimy his own mother doesn't trust him. Recently, his mother even required that he have a police escort in order to visit his sick father!
So with guns at the ready, the festivities began. Cat's claws came out, and went straight for Tareq.
"I know you're American, but let's have some manners," she tells him at one point.
While none of the other Americans present appeared to take offense, a brave staff member called Cat out on her bitchiness, which was well deserved. Cat then spent most of the rest of the day hollering out, "Bollocks!"
Probably the most telling example of the Salahis' shadiness was found in the grapes. Mind you they were at the vineyard, a place where grapes are grown, but Cat and Mary discovered that the grapes they stomped were from a GROCERY STORE!
Cat made an abrupt departure, and the rest of the ladies along with Jason and Tareq (who was wearing one of the ugliest sweaters ever) had dinner and a bit of a she-said, she-said spat.
In her tight, nasally, throaty voice (does the way she talk annoy anyone else as much as it does me?), Michaele tried to confront Mary about badmouthing her with Lynda. Mary, of course, denied all of it and defended Lynda.
No one even discussed the fact that Stacie found her birth mother -- a WHITE woman, with a white family who knows nothing about Stacie's existence.
They all seemed a little drunk, and the conversation got murky until Mary saw Tareq make some kind of pained face and grunting noise and challenged him to say what was on his mind.
Previews for next week's show tempt with allegations of an FBI investigation involving Mary's daughter, an ambulance scene, and an appearance by Sarah Palin?
Did you watch The Real Housewives of D.C. this week? What do you think of the season so far?
Image via bravotv.com