Heidi Montag is mortified at the thought of her ex-hubby Spencer Pratt releasing an unsanctioned sex tape of her. No surprise there. But how come?
Because she doesn't want the whole world to see her doing it?
Because her momma, dad, granny, third grade teacher, and that creepy guy at the supermarket will all see her naughty bits?
The real reason this girl doesn't want the tape to be distributed?
I'm mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.
Excuse me? I can think of 1,001 things that this girl should be mortified about, and a touch of cellulite and less-than-enormous chest are not among them.
Here are just a few:
- Marrying that jerk Spencer Pratt.
- Her laughable album, Superficial.
- Marrying Spencer Pratt ... this merits mentioning twice.
- Um, 10 plastic surgeries in one day, maybe?
- Appearing on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
- Claiming she was tortured by the IACGMEOOH producers.
- Sorry ... gotta say it again. Marrying Spencer Pratt.