If you thought the pie eating contest last week on Bachelor Pad was bad, it was actually tasteful compared to the kissing contest on this week's episode.
Contestants were blindfolded and had to kiss each member of the opposite sex then vote for the best kisser.
Sounds innocent enough, but there was nothing innocent (or hygienic) about the tongues thrusting in and out and everywhere in long, passionate embraces -- one after another ... after another.
Saliva, it was a flowin'.
Among the notable kissers:
Elizabeth If you thought she was annoying before, the kissing contest may have sealed the deal for her as the most obnoxious reality contestant ever. With each guy she eagerly attacked, she made not-so-little "mmmmmm" and "ooooo" and "ahhhhhhhh" noises.
To say it was gross, is a gross understatement.
Weatherman Poor, pitiful Weatherman just can't hang with the big kids.
He was so excited with the all the action he was getting (probably more than he's seen in his life), someone should have thrown a bucket of cold water on him because it was getting uncomfortable to watch him get so worked up.
The girls gave it to him good ... then started spitting and washing their mouths off after.
Ashley The high school teacher didn't want to lose the respect of her students, so she took herself out of the contest. Note to Ashley: I think you lost their respect long ago -- like the second you signed up to be on Bachelor Pad -- you could have stayed in the contest.
Gia It was all too much for the beautiful swimsuit model with a honey at home. She sobbed and moaned about having to kiss the men, and gave them each a chaste peck. Then she saw her competition going at it full throttle and got upset all over again ... and again.
"I didn't think everyone was going to turn into porn stars here."
Has she not been watching the same show we've been watching?
In the end, Petyon, who kept it pretty classy as far as kissing contestants go, and David win the esteemed titles of best kissers and get to select their dates.
David takes Nikki, Krisily and Natalie to Las Vegas. Krisily has a relationship in her head with David after their kiss and thinks if she only told him her feelings he would be hers.
But her unrequited love is no match for Natalie's BOOBS, which she flashes and flaunts to the whole crew as she decides to go topless in the pool in an attempt to tell David how she feels about them. Because, you know nothing says I like you like look at my boobs.
David chooses Natalie for the rose and overnight stay (duh), and Krisily is crushed and still thinks she would have won had she just told him how she felt. Next time, Krisily: Flash your boobs. They're bigger than Natalie's and just might work.
Peyton took Jesse B, Kovacs and Kiptyn on a date to a race track. She and Jesse B had some chemistry, and he got the rose as well as some more kisses. Now they're a couple, but not telling anyone for strategy's sake.
The rest of the show kind of drags after the crazy contest and dates each week as everyone scrambles and strategizes. I keep thinking how much better this show would be packed into one hour. But like most of the contestants, Bachelor Pad is all too willing to give more than anyone really wants, but can't help taking.
There is the whole Gia and Wes romance where she in all seriousness calls him a "modern-day Shakespeare only better and cuter". Yes, really.
And whereas the mere thought of kissing a man sent her into prudent tears earlier, toward the end of the show she's more than comfortable snuggling in bed, in the dark with Wes proclaiming his love for her.
In the end, Gia is sent home, which is probably for the best if she has any hopes of continuing her relationship with her love back home.
As for the guys it's buh bye Weatherman, which will likely (and hopefully) end his short fame game for good. It's for the best, really.
Finally, could somebody please tell me again why Melissa Rycroft is on this show? She just stands there... albeit in a great dress for the final rose ceremony.
Did you watch Bachelor Pad tonight? What did you think of the kissing contest? Would you ever participate in one? Have you?