This week on Jersey Shore, umm, in Miami: Ron and Sammi go back and forth and make all the members of the house way uncomfortable.
But before we start down the spiral of she said, he bumped and grinded, Sammi just needs to get pregnant already so they can buy a duplex with the help of their parents and start living the suburban dream in South Jersey. Aiight?
After a really rough night where Angelina smacks Pauly D and he loses it, Mike negotiates Angelina's position in the house. He convinces the girls they need to give her another chance. Snooki's pouf is up and at 'em and Vinny likes.
But Angelina admitting to Snook and JWoww that she talked shit about them is almost anticlimactic compared to the drama between Ronnie and Sammi.
Ronnie has too much Ron-Ron juice at the club and Sammi is irritated. She tells him he's being a jackass and leaves the club. Naturally Ron thinks this means he can hook up. Whoo! But Snooki steps in to set Ron straight about not creepin' on every girl in the club when you've got a gal, and Ron pushes Snooki. The boys do not like if it you mess with the Snook. Ronnie is sloppy again, as Pauly D carries him out. No one likes drunk Ronnie.
Snooki drunk dials while laying on top of Vinny. It all gets destructive and kinky. Snooki and Vinny lay down 'cuz Vinny needs companionship ... like a dog. Snook say what?
Sammi and Ronnie are in bed together since Sammi has no idea what Ron says out loud, or where he puts his face before he gets into bed with her. Maybe they'll all work it out together at the gelato shop. Can I tell you how done I am with this story line? JWoww is too. Finally, we agree. Ronnie's heart says Sammi is his girlfriend. Too bad his pelvic thrust doesn't say the same.
Why is The Situation always in the hot tub?
Maybe he's prepping it for the MVP night. Vinny, Situation, and Pauly D have a boys' night out -- the MVPs in MIA. Get it? Angelina wants to crash that, so the boys devise a master plan to run out the door and leave Angelina behind. They do it!!! They actually wait until she turns her head and run out the door.
Meanwhile, back at the gelato shop -- Snooki rides the dog/camel outside the shop. Yes, it hurts her vagina. And yes, she likes it.
More Sammi and Ron drama. Yawn! Ron goes out with the boys. Sammi is passive aggressive. Ron gets it on with the ladies AGAIN. Snooki and JWoww wring their hands.
Seriously, get married or one of you MUST leave the show. NOW.
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