'The Real Housewives of D.C.' Recap: Polo, Penis Measurements and Poor Manners

Julie Ryan Evans
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Real Housewives of D.C.More than anything, The Real Housewives of D.C. seem bent on dictating what people should do and what they should wear and say when they do it. And woe to the person who violates these unwritten rules.

A couple of examples from this week's show ...

Michaele and Tareq Salahi invite Mary and Cat out to their farm for some horse riding and little polo lesson. The other women are mortified that Michaele is wearing riding pants and a tank top rather than jeans as they've been instructed to wear.

They are the only four people there, so who cares? Mary and Cat, that's who. And not just a little miffed, they're pissed.

"You just can't dress that way and ride that way," Mary says. "You're gonna look like a fool."

Mary seems just a little too concerned about the Salahis' financial situation, making comments about how much money you have to have to play the luxury sport of polo and smirking about the fact that Michaele used to be a makeup counter girl who has "changed her station in life".

After the riding, Tareq trots off to bring the ladies some refreshments. He jokingly presents them with "chardonnay" only it's really beer in a wine glass. 

Cat apparently takes her wine pretty seriously and doesn't find the joke funny at all.

"Anybody that owns a vineyard and gives you beer is pretty strange to me," she says.

Then Stacie invites everyone to her Aunt Frances's house for a down-home meal of fried chicken (fried in more oil then all the housewives together have probably ingested in their lives) plus collard greens, peach pie and platters of other soul food.

Everyone has a good time except Cat who is downright rude. She turns her nose up at the wine that's served, barely picks at the food, and before dessert is even served, she's out the door. She doesn't even stop long enough to say goodbye to Stacie, who invited her.

"I'm like what kind of home training do they teach you in London?" Stacie says, more than a little miffed.

Stacie wonders if she has a problem being around black people. After some hints last week and previews for next week, it seems the whole "Is Cat a racist?" theme will be running for awhile.

At some point during the evening, the men retire to the basement to talk about penis size. Stacie's husband, Jason, has a patent on a penile volumetric measuring device. And while I can't be sure after comments like "slippage is real", I think he was serious.

Finally, the women attend a birthday party for stylist Paul Wharton, hosted by the Salahis. Lynda is offended from the beginning that the couple isn't there when she arrives, and that when they do arrive it's in a white stretch limo complete with police escort (how does one get one of those by the way?).

"Washington isn't a place that responds well to showy people," she says. "They don't like flash."

Like I said, these D.C. ladies are all about protocol.

Then all hell breaks loose when Lynda is hit in the ass by champagne and Michaele confronts her about comments she made about her scary skininess. After insulting the Salahis' wine, Lynda is done with the drama and storms out. 

Walsh offers the final foreboding words: "I mean really, if Lynda Erkiletian has it out for you, you better watch your back."

Did you watch The Real Housewives of D.C. this week? Who do you think has the worst manners ... so far?


Image via bravotv.com


 

 

 

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