Celebrity Crotch Shots: The Art of Flashing Your Vagina

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Okay ladies, I want to ask you a question. How do you get out of a car, when you're wearing a skirt? 

A) Keeping both legs together, I swing my feet out of the vehicle, then stand up. Durr.

B) Well, first of all, I make sure I either have no underwear on whatsoever, or a pair of teeny-tiny panties that cost more than your mortgage, bitch. Then I open the door and flop one leg out as far as I possibly can. Bonus points to me if my knees are at least 5 feet apart -- good thing I'm so flexible from all that yoga! -- and the actual interior of my uterus is visible. I wait there until I'm sure every photographer has had a chance to capture the special moment; then, depending on how incapacitated I am, I stagger the rest of the way out and scream at my assistant to bring me a drink.

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton have all clearly chosen Option B in years past, but even squeaky-clean Jennifer Aniston was recently photographed with her hemline hiked up over her thighs. And a few days ago Britney was up to her old tricks, somehow managing to get the bottom of her dress to expose her naked butt as she sashayed into a Johnny Rockets in LA, where presumably the menu included burgers, vanilla shakes, and Disgraced Pop Star Booty.

Celebrity junk-sighting has become so common there are websites devoted to these "accidental" flashes. The Superficial has an entire category titled "Upskirt," for crying out loud. (For the love of everything, do not click the Tara Reid pictures. My eyes! MY EYESSSSS.)

I guess I'm willing to give some of these incidents the benefit of the doubt. I mean, sometimes limos are real low to the ground and hard to get out of. Sometimes there's a wardrobe malfunction that can't be prevented and the paparazzi snapping you from every angle are bound to catch an inopportune moment. Sometimes ... uh, well, hmm. Maybe certain celebrities have a life-threatening disorder where if their vagina doesn't get fresh air on a regular basis, they asphyxiate. Won't somebody think of the vaginas?

What do you think, are celebrities doing this on purpose for the attention, or are they continually falling prey to a combination of bad luck and available cameras?


Image via ndanger/Flickr

celebrity gossip, horrors, celeb style

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kryst... krystel.justice

This article was both hilarious and spot on!

MomIWant MomIWant

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA!

cafemama cafemama

Hilarious. How long until we start seeing ads pop up on their vaginas? They gotta make money somehow.

sstepph sstepph

I think it just happens. I mean has it ever happened to you?

Shelly Slomp

Hahaha! Great post. I am tall - 6'2 with a good heel, and everytime I am in a limo (which isn't often, mind you) I have the HARDEST time keeping my goods from being shared with whomever is present. The seats are leaned back just so, that my giraffe legs erupt from the seated position. Getting out, I try to shimmy across the seat, and swing both legs while closed, out the door. But sometimes you have a drink you don't want to spill on your pretty dress, and priorities end up getting mixed up!!

nonmember avatar Keli

I was standing at the bus stop yesterday when a woman wearing a short skirt and no underwear WHILE RIDING HER BIKE dismounted the bike.



About 15 - 20 of us were standing there to witness the horror.



Apparently, it's not a celebrity thing anymore?

kalisah kalisah

Vagina. Vagina vagina vagina. 

nonmember avatar Abbykins

I am able to avoid this by riding is Hummer Limos only...

pinki... pinkiebling

The accidental panty-flash can happen to the best of us, but it doesn't have to include labia if you just WEAR UNDERWEAR. It's not really that hard, is it? IS IT??


Also, Keli - OMFG HAHAHAHA YUCK!

nonmember avatar js

I think Jennifer Aniston's exposure was bad luck. The others? On purpose. I know this sort of thing happens, but, COME ON. I'm all for going commando, but if you're in a skirt/dress that short, you wear UNDERWEAR. Also? Brittney Spear's "dress" should be paired with PANTS.



I had to stop wearing skirts when I had my truck. There was no graceful way for my 5'3" body to get out of a Dodge Ram with huge tires. I just kind of fell out, and my clothes did what they wanted.

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