The Real Housewives of New Jersey delivered the drama this week ... and then some.
It started where we left off at the country club fashion show when Teresa Giudice attempted to say hello to Danielle Staub. She was clearly egging her on, and Danielle gave her just the reaction she wanted when she freaked out over Teresa calling her "honey."
"I don't want to call you honey, bitch. Is bitch better?" Teresa asked.
Things escalated from there and went ballistic when Danielle pointed out that Teresa's house is in foreclosure.
Teresa then started charging after her in her chinchilla wrap and high heels, yelling and batting away those trying to hold her back.
"My house is not in foreclosure, bitch!"
(It is, now.)
"You're a coke f*&king whore!"
Danielle ran away whimpering and hyperventilating to hide in the bushes, breaking the heels off of her shoes along the way.
It was a hilarious, horrifying spectacle that had me alternating laughter and gasps of horror with every other breath.
Jacqueline Laurita's 18-year-old daughter, Ashley, made things worse when she pulled Danielle's hair.
Where was Danielle's ex-con bodyguard when she needed him?!
Danielle finally made it to her limousine where she decided to call the police.
"I'm in pain physically and emotionally. I'm gonna get them arrested," she said.
A whole crew of cop cars showed up, and the officers took some statements. They let the other women know that they're more than familiar with Danielle and her dramatics.
When they asked Ashley about pulling her hair, her defense was that since it was a weave, it wasn't really part of Danielle. Ashley claimed she pulled it because she heard that she hit her mom.
Personally, I think she's just a little snit looking to get some publicity. That night she posted on Facebook that it was an "unbeweaveable" night.
Ashley's parents threatened to kick her out and cut her off if she ever has any more contact with Danielle.
"You're just making a crazy person crazier," her father told an unrepentant Ashley. "She's capable of anything."
Speaking of crazy ... Danielle is truly paranoid that the ladies are out to take her down. While Teresa was definitely a mean girl at the event, she's no more harmful than a flipped table or two. But Danielle thinks they all want to kill her.
"Teresa had like blood in her eyes," she recapped for Danny the bodyguard. "If there had been a knife anywhere handy she would have just grabbed it and stabbed me. I just believe they're on a mission ... a mission to just kill Danielle. And I don't take that lightly. They might not set out to go ‘I'm gonna kill you and I want you dead,' but the fact of the matter remains that once I am, there's no taking it back. "
Danielle, of course, is going to press charges, and is milking the hair pull heard around the world for all it's worth talking of her sore neck and pain, emotional bruising, and bald spot. And somehow she managed in the midst of the whole brouhaha to keep the clump of hair Ashley took out that she waves at anyone who will look.
Poor Danielle, I'd almost feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a mean kind of crazy.
Did you watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey this week? Did you feel sorry for Danielle?
Image via bravotv.com