Marlon, Dennis, Warren, and Jack Nicholson: A Tale of Four Hollywood Bad Boys

Amy Keyishian

Hollywood HellraisersWith the recent death of Dennis Hopper, I found myself thinking about today’s scrubbed-clean celebs. It just seems like there used to be more … scoundrels. It’s nice that someone like Robert Downey, Jr. can sober up and live a healthy life -- I’m all for that. What I don’t get is why fans and gawkers feel like celebs are role models and have some responsibility to be upstanding citizens. They’re actors. Why are their misadventures more tsk-worthy than anyone else’s?

That’s why it feels refreshing and romp-y to read a gossipy compendium like Hollywood Hellraisers: The Wild Lives and Fast Times of Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Warren Beatty, and Jack Nicholson ($16.47 at Amazon). These were bad, bad men. I would not want to depend on any of them -- for anything. But goodness, their lives are fun to read about!

Here are just a few of the choice quotes and anecdotes reportedly included in this naughty histoire:

  • "I don't know what people expect when they meet me. They seem to be afraid that I'm going to piss in the potted palm and slap them on the ass." -- Marlon Brando
  • "I should have been dead ten times over. I believe in miracles. It's an absolute miracle that I'm still around." -- Dennis Hopper
  • "You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police." -- Jack Nicholson
  • "The best time to get married is noon. That way, if things don't work out, you haven't blown the whole day." -- Warren Beatty

If you’re looking for crazy stories, you’re going to find them here. Sex. Drugs. Fights. And guess which one is called a “fuck machine"? (That’d be Brando, duh.) The author did his own interviews with the  Hollywood heavies, so don’t worry about getting warmed-over anecdotes you’ve heard before.

Sheesh, I feel dirty just writing about it! Makes Lindsay Lohan look downright wholesome!

Are you curious to read about these old-school bad-boys? Tell us in the comments!

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