Flckr photo by br3ndaTonight I attempted to describe Toddlers and Tiaras to my 6-year-old son -- a surprisingly complicated feat.
He wanted to know if there were any boys in pageants. I told him no, they are just for girls.
Boy was I wrong!
This week we met the adorable Zander, who is as pageant-perfect as any girl. Nail polish, lip gloss and eyeliner were all part of the 5-year-old's regime, which is orchestrated by his quick-tempered mother.
Zander, who has done at least 60 pageants in his short life, says he doesn't like to lose because: "I don't like to lose because my mom might be sad".
Speaking of sad ...
Pageant moms can complain all they want that they get a bad name, but tonight's episode proved there are at least some parents out there proving all the stereotypes true.
I'll abstain from making any commentary (a difficult feat given all the ripe fodder) and let you make your own assumptions.
From 5-year-old Lexis's mom, a former child pageant contestant herself:
"I wanted her to be just like mommy. I don't care who it's going to hurt ... as long as she's winning."
From 21-month-old Carissa's mom:
"Whenever she wins, I feel accomplished because I know my daughter is beautiful. You have to be beautiful to be able to do things."
(Shaking with urge to comment)
From Carissa's dad when his baby is up on stage:
"Shake it, sis!"
Lexie's mother, again:
"I put Alexia in pageants because I've always wanted a little girl to dress up and put on stage and prance around. "
Did you see this week's episode of Toddlers and Tiaras? Thoughts?