I wanted to be a Go-Go so badly when I was young, specifically Belinda Carlisle, the beautiful, blonde lead singer of the band. I thought if only I could be her up there on the stage singing, "We Got the Beat," my life would be perfect.
Turns out, Carlisle's life was anything but perfect.
In her new memoir Lips Unsealed, the 51-year-old mother talks about how she struggled with a cocaine addiction for 30 years, stopping only for the nine months she carried her son. Five years ago, she finally got sober.
In an interview with PopEater, she says it was only the thought of her son finding her dead that made her quit.
"I remember thinking how humiliating it would be for my son to have his mom die in a hotel room of a cocaine overdose. That's pretty low. I knew if I didn't stop I'd be dead. You can't be my age and doing the amount of cocaine I was doing."
She also described how she was able to maintain the picture-perfect life so many of us envied on the outside, while inside she was crumbling.
"I could afford to have facials and massages and dress nicely and fool myself even that I was OK and fool everyone around me that I was OK, living in the south of France, jet-setting everywhere, looking great. Everything must be perfect. You know, I held it together and I gave that impression for years and years, but I think the last couple of years I wasn't fooling anybody."
In her book, Carlisle says she has only one regret.
"I don't have any regrets about my addiction and I have an amazing life. The one regret is that I wasn't as present as I should have been as a mother. I'd like to think that I've made up for that in the last five years."
Have you read Belinda Carlisle's book? Will you?