Kate Gosselin returned to Dancing With the Stars to redeem herself from her past performances that made me want to tear my eyeballs out of my head. And she succeeded. In making me want to tear my eyeballs out of my head yet again. Hopefully, for your sake, you were too distracted by the sexual chemistry between Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy or Nicole Scherzinger's hot moves to take notice of Kate's performance disaster.
I can only imagine Tony's face (Tony, I heart you) upon finding out he had to dance with Kate again. After surely banging his head against the wall multiple times, he choreographed a simple dance to "Paparazzi" (please, god, no ... not again). But wait, Kate wants a challenge. "Make it more difficult," she sneers. Followed quickly by a "Are you trying to kill me?!" I think Tony was half-joking, half-hoping when he responded with, "Yes."
Because people will judge her regardless and 90 percent of her audience doesn't like her (her words, not mine), Kate decides that she's going to have fun with this performance.
For the next two minutes, looking like a constipated robot, she gets revenge on that 90 percent of us by torturing us with an even worse version of her "Paparazzi" routine. My eyes! My eyes!
Then, in the heat of the moment, Tony rips her skirt off to reveal an itty bitty sequined number and she struts to "I Will Survive" right up onto a forklift. She's raised, smoke clouding around her, with a camera way too close to her face.
What a way to end the season.
What did you think of Kate Gosselin's comeback performance?