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Are you ready for some Lost answers? (I assume if you're reading this there's no need for a spoiler alert.)
First of all, I have to say the first 20 minutes of the finale were more satisfying than any of the one-hour episodes this year, and I was fairly satisfied with season six. But the finale really did it for me. Here's how it went down:
LOST begins as the sideways and island times are shown in montage: Kate sitting in car after escaping jail, Kate being treated by Sawyer on the island. Locke getting wheeled into surgery as Jack preps. Jack washing his face in the water after being named the new protector of the island.
Montage breaks and we hear Desmond signing for Jack’s father’s remains as Kate watches from the car. Kate makes fun of Christian Shephard’s name.
On the island, Sawyer says to Jack what we’re all thinking, (only in Sawyer-ese,): Now that you’re god, what’s next?
Clearly they saved the best Sawyer lines for the first minutes of the finale. We got the burning bush and magic leprechaun jokes, and he tells Kate not to follow him while referencing the fact that he’s said that for six years and she always follows anyway.
Meanwhile, back in sideways world, it’s all about getting everyone to the same place that night. So Hurley and Sayid tranquilize a heavily made-up Charlie and haul him to the concert hall, since he’s a surly SOB.
Island time. Desmond is running from Bad Locke and heads right into Rose and Bernard’s camp (hooray!). However, Vincent is back, which I just so did not care about. If Walt doesn’t show up soon I’m going to freak out. But still, having Rose and Bernard taking care of Desmond in their domicile was a lovely pause in the action. Against their better wishes I might add, as Rose says, “We don’t get involved.” They “don’t want any drama” and ask Desmond politely to move on. LOVE IT. Of course it’s too late. Bad Locke and Ben arrive, and Desmond bargains for Rose and Bernard’s lives, making me realize why I heart him so much.
Miles finds a dazed and confused Alpert, but he’s alive and wants to finish what he’s started. Some fire in that guy’s belly, yes?
Sideways -- Juliet arrives! She’s giving Sun the second sono we’ve seen in the series, as illustrated in flashback/remembrance. Sun remembers. Which causes a Sun/Jin montage that makes me cry. Feel-good segment!
Pause -- AT&T “The Gates” Commercial
Back to Sawyer running through the woods. Yes! Jack explains to sweaty, breathless Sawyer that they’re all going to the same place and then “it ends.”
Elsewhere, Alpert and Miles are in a canoe after Miles notices Alpert has a gray hair. He’s aging, and this makes him excited. They hear a noise and see the busted-up sub. Lapidus in a life jacket is saved. Lucky that, because Lapidus has the first good idea of the night. Leave, take the plane, and ditch Bad Locke.
Showdown! Locke and Co. meet Jack & Co. Kate wastes bullets in an impassioned fit of rage. Locke marches up to Jack, clearly pissed about the whole candidate thing and says to Jack, “You’re sort of the obvious choice, aren’t you?”
Jack won’t take that lying down and eventually gets around to filling Bad Locke in by telling him he’s going to kill him. Bad Locke asks, “How do you plan on doing that?” Jack says it’s a surprise. Jack and Kate have their best moments of the entire series.
Huge score back in sideways land, as Juliet IS Jack’s ex-wife. They seem pretty amicable for exes. Sawyer arrives in the elevator; Juliet and David nod and walk past. Is there a spark?
Island land -- Jack thinks Desmond is a weapon. Sawyer thinks that’s a helluva long con.
As the combined crowd of Ben, Bad Locke, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Jack, and Desmond get closer to the big tunnel of light, Locke says it’s only Jack, him, and Desmond from here on out. I’m thinking isn’t there an hour and forty-five minutes left in this show as they arrive at the glowing cave waterfall. I would be wrong.
Desmond explains it doesn’t even matter because there’s a happy place, the sideways world. Jack peshaws, “Desmond, all of this matters.”
Least favorite segment of the night alert: Hurley and Sayid in the Hummer. Hurley tries to heal Sayid, talking rules and love. Enter Shannon and Boone. Ugh. No way is Nadia not Sayid’s destiny versus Shannon! Screw Shannon. Seriously. Didn’t she leave LOST to start a whole career in horror films? Again, Ugh.
Luckily one of my favorite moments of the night came when Bad Locke had an Original Locke moment as he and Jack overlooked the tunnel and Locke reminisced about the Hatch. I was feeling Original Locke.
At the concert: Juliet is called away. Desmond, Kate, Claire, and Juliet and Jack’s son, David have the same table number! Pierre Chang introduces Drive Shaft and Daniel (Faraday) Widmore. Starting to get the feeling that everything is warm and fuzzy. Desmond loves it when a plan comes together.
Desmond on the island: Makes it through the tunnel and heads toward the light. Makes that light his bitch; however, extinguishes it in the process. Shit starts to happen.
Jack hits Bad Locke. He bleeds. WTF? Locke clocks Jack with a rock. Locke mortal? Jack mortal? Jack and Locke mortal?
Back at the concert: Claire’s in labor. Desmond and Eloise tête-à-tête, cryptic messages all around. Most importantly, Eloise asks what happens when everyone starts to realize what happened. Kate also asks, post-Aaron birth, “Now what?”
Re-enactment of island birth scene. Okay, Charlie and Claire recognition -- sweet.
Island imploding! Island imploding! Which means, more wet Kate and Sawyer gets in one more son-of-a-bitch.
Locke and Jack run toward each other up and down the cliffs in a visually stunning cliffhanger -- literally. Contact! Would have preferred a match of wills, intelligence, really anything but the fisticuffs. Still, pretty cool.
Kate saves Jack’s ass and fires at Bad Locke while delivering her action hero line, “I saved you a bullet.” They STILL can’t give her good dialogue? Jack knocks Locke over the edge after Kate shoots him and Jack wins ... or does he? Either way, neck blood mystery solved.
John Locke is out of surgery in sideways, knows it worked. He could feel his toes sooner than I could after my c-section. And, Walt! (But really, that was all the Walt they could fit in???)
Sawyer heads to the hospital to see Sun and Jin, and they’ve got that knowing look in their eyes. They remember! Tell Sawyer they’ll see him there.
Meanwhile, back on the island ... Lapidus tries to get the airplane in the air. Ben is still on the good side? Really? Rocks roll down the cliffs. Jack and Kate are both injured. Sawyer thanks Doc. Ben says he’s going down with the island after Jack says he has to turn the island back on. Jack and Kate kiss. Miles duct tapes the plane as the island rumbles.
Sideways at the hospital, Juliet and Sawyer meet up. Juliet and Sawyer. Jack and Kate. Okay, got it. I’m liking it. Okay, fine, I cried when Juliet and Sawyer realized what was the what.
Back at the tunnel, Jack prepares to dive into the abyss and save the light. Hurley must take over as protector of the island in case anything happens to Jack. Hurley, after much emotion -- the most emotion ever from Hugo? -- agrees. He drinks. Jack tells him, “Now you’re like me.” After Jack lands at the bottom, he gets Desmond out of the pit and sends him home saying, “I’ll see ya in another life, brother." But without the awesome accent.
Kate talks Claire out of her crazy to get her on the plane. Lapidus!
Jack saves the light. But is anyone left on the island?
Two of my favorites realize what’s shaking in the sideways world -- Locke and Ben. Even when I wanted to see Ben dead, beaten, or tortured, I was so captivated. Watching his redemption in the sideways world almost felt like too much until I realized it was absolutely perfect.
Hurley needs Ben to help him out. Ben rises to the occasion and you wonder how much evil Ben could stir up even as it seems like the island is completely deserted and furthermore there isn’t anyone left with an interest in getting on or off the island.
Jack wakes up in a lot of strange places. In water on the island, in a multi-denominational place of worship back in the sideways world where his father’s coffin is waiting. Or is it? It all comes together as Christian Shephard explains to his son that the Losties have created a special place where they can all come together, because it was the most important time of their lives. So here they are, at Jack’s funeral. Only, no Michael, Walt, or Eko. What the hell??? Still, I was crying like my favorite TV show had just ended.
My takeaway: Jack, as master caretaker, imagined the perfect world in which they landed at LAX and everything worked out for everyone. Except Sayid. Come on! Nadia is so much better than Shannon!!!
The very last thing that happened on LOST was that Jack was (yes, I’m saying it) shepherded into the after world by his father who told Jack what the LOST creators are telling us as well: Move on.