If Pamela Anderson's Cha Cha Isn't Enough, Then What Is? "Dancing With the Stars" Recap

Amy Keyishian
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Another episode, another birthday: Erin spends her special day in the elimination box. Even though she doesn't get the boot, that can't be fun. Plus, no matter what Maks got her, how can it possibly measure up to the 10 presents multimillionaire Chad gave Cheryl just one night before? A trailer full of flowers is nice, but floating diamonds in a heart, while tacky, are still a girl's best friend.

The big Twitter controversy of the day: Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View made a crack about Erin's outfits on the show, saying that the stalker who filmed Erin naked and posted the films online -- really, really scumbaggy stuff -- should've just waited to watch the show and gotten the same thrill. How gross is that? Like it's the same thing at all; like everyone isn't wearing that style of outfit. Her costars flocked to her defense -- Niecy, Evan, and Louis called Hasselbeck out, but not a word back from Miss "I Tweet In All-Caps." So lame.

Anyway, back to the show. Who got canned? Man, it's getting hot in here! Look at Erin -- she gets her best score ever and still ends up in the bottom two. It's that crazy level of competition where everyone's so freakin' good, there's no clear loser. As Len Goodman said, "It's the closest competition evah." Or as Maks said, "The only ones left are the ones that can dance." Erin, Chad, and Pamela share the bottom rung. Yoinks.

Biggest surprise: Pamela injured her leg, and since this episode doesn't count for competition, she let Chelsie Hightower step in for the Lady Gaga "Telephone" cha-cha redux. Such a hot song, such a great job.

Then there was a band. Here's an imitation of me watching Train: "Who the hell is Train? Oh, this is that song that my stepson Max likes. Oh that guy's pants are fake-ripped, how lame. I hate his voice … hold the phone, is that a ukulele? THESE GUYS ROCK!"

In the end, Pamela got the boot, and I have to say I agree. She's got tons of heart and is sexy as hell, and she can move great. But her skill set just isn't where the other dancers are. With zero dancing experience (unless you count the Baywatch jog), she came a long way, baby -- but not far enough. But damn she was good!

More next week: And then there were five.

Do you think Pam should have gone home?

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