12 Must-Have Neil Diamond Creations

Cary McNeal

Like Neil Diamond? Somebody does. You won't believe all the cra-- uh, merchandise available on the interwebz with the man's face stuck on it. I wonder if he gets a cut. Neil seems like an agreeable dude, but if someone put my image on a pair of socks or a bath mat, I'd have to demand some sort of reimbursement, if only on principle.

Who knew Neil was so popular? Besides Neil, I mean. As celebrity faces most likely to be found on weird junk go, he's gotta be right up there with Jesus, Elvis, Dale Earnhardt, and Mr. Peanut.

See for yourself.

Neil Beverage Coasters

Ain't no big surprise. Pour him a drink, and he'll tell you some lies. Love on the rocks was never so smooth.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Belt Buckle

You can't be forever in blue jeans when you're looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Photo from Etsy.com

Neil Bumper Sticker

Got Neil? Yep, in my trunk, bound and gagged. He was kicking on the lid earlier, but no one heard at all. Not even the spare.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Charm

Grandkids are so 1985. You need The Neil hanging on your wrist. Or Bob Saget. Hard to say which one this is, but I don't think Saget plays guitar, so I'll go with Neil.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Mousepad

Look at Neil go. If you put half as much effort into your computing as he puts into his singing, you'll be a superstar too. But you probably won't sweat as much.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Pillowcase

Now you can tell everybody you slept with Neil Diamond last night.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Painting

Maybe. It's either Neil or Steven Tyler. Or Jim Morrison. Or Unfrozen Caveman Guitarist. Look at that huge-ass hand. I bet that makes playing guitar difficult.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil Replica Frilly Shirt

Warning: Do NOT put on this shirt unless you're ready to have women's underwear hurled at you.

Photo from SamanthaMo.com

Neil Cigarette Case

This handy case with Neil's picture on the front will make you feel like you're bumming a smoke from Neil himself. Except he doesn't smoke, so they're all yours. They'd only make his hangover worse, anyway.

Photo from eBay.com

Neil LP Serving Bowl

The Etsy listing for this bowl is quick to point out that only damaged LPs were used in its making. The seller isn't stupid: She knows that melting a good Neil Diamond record is a good way to get your ass kicked.

Photo from Etsy.com

Neil Onesie

Girl, you'll be a woman soon. Until then, feel free to spit up all over Neil's hand-drawn big-hair-'80s likeness. It wasn't his best look, we agree.

Photo from Etsy.com

Neil Messenger Bag

You don't bring me flowers anymore, but I know it's only because you don't have a cool bag to put them in. Problem solved.

Photo from Etsy.com


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