Countess LuAnn Makes My Ears Bleed

April Peveteaux
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A dance song inspired by a book on manners, Money Can't Buy You Class, has got to be the worst single since "Tardy for the Party." It does, however, offer lots of tips from Countess LuAnn -- some of them valuable.

You're going to thank me for this list since now you don't have to listen to the off-tune, badly mixed, amateurish recording from the Real Housewives of New York's most annoying Countess. And yes, the lyrics are as stiff and awkward as they seem.

Tips to live by from Money Can't Buy You Class:

The primary mistake: Texting on a date.

When entering a room, greet everyone and soon you'll be invited and entitled to the splendor. (Although it kind of sounds like she's saying you'll be invited to the grand jury in the recording.)

Your company should feel when a conversation's real even if the topic feels like science class. (Because God knows one can't be classy and talk about science.)

It's not about where you're from; it's what you've learned.

Most importantly, elegance is learned, my friend. Oh yeah.

 

I'm really looking forward to Dear Abby's techno jam on how to write a proper apology letter.

 

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