Photo from MTV
The second season of of the annoyingly ubiquitous MTV hit Jersey Shore -- which the network had considered relocating to a hipper beach town, like Miami -- is staying in the Dirty Jerz after all. Snooki, the Situation, JWoww, and the rest of the gang will head down south to Miami for a few fun-filled days before decamping back to their Seaside Heights, NJ, beach house. All new episodes begin airing July 29 on MTV.
Which means another season's worth of har-de-har-har "I can't believe you're from there" jokes for this Jersey Girl. So I thought I'd give you a quick rundown on New Jersey tropes that don't universally apply.
First, the accent. Okay, it exists. And yes, it's annoying. But really -- I don't have that accent. It's really a South Jersey thing. North and Central Jersey rock more of a New Yawk type of dialogue, where the O's become "aws." Meaning coffee is cawfee. And yes, we have conversations like: "Jeet?" "No, jew?" (Translation: "Did you eat?" "No, did you?") Okay, maybe that's no less irritating to the general public. But it's hardly noticeable if you're from the Northeast, because it blends with New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts to a certain extent. Anyway, this means you should stop asking me how life is in "New Joiszee." Thanks.
Next, we are not all guidos, guidettes, mobsters or even Italians. In fact, New Jersey is a grand bastion of diversity with people from all over the world. After all, Ellis Island cozies right up to our admittedly filthy shores. And besides, if you're really looking for the ethnic majority here in Jersey, I'd say you'd find a lot of brown folks like me. We've got Americans with roots in South Asia, Korea, the Middle East, Portugal, the Domincan Republic, Puerto Rico, and many other nations. So the Italians ain't got nuthin' on the rest of us.
Third, we don't all fist pump. In fact, some us wouldn't begin to know how to fist pump. Also, we don't all spray tan (especially us already brown folks), have talons for nails or huge, hair spray-encrusted '80s 'dos, or hook-up in hot tubs. We do, however, unanimously love meatball subs, chicken parm, and a good New York slice. Because nobody does New York slices better than Ciro's in my hometown of Colonia, deep in the heart of Central Jersey. Except maybe Don Pepe's at Penn Station in midtown Manhattan. Yes, I'm bridge and tunnel. What of it?
Will you be tuning in to Stereotype City -- uh, I meant, Jersey Shore -- this summer?