"Parenthood" -- "The Situation" Recap

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Oh, Bravermans! You're all over the map this week! I think this week's Parenthood episode was less about theme and more about moving the story forward, so I'll give you the plot points, which whipped past me like pigeons fleeing a golden retriever.

Adam (Peter Krause) and Kristina have their hands full this week. Haddie is in full teen-girl-in-love mode, and Adam is certifiably insane over it. He spends most of the episode complaining about boyfriend Steve pawing his daughter, even going so far as to call him "Gropey Groperton." Hey Adam, 1998 called … oh, never mind. Haddie and Steve briefly break up, but by morning she is back in looooooove and Adam wants to stab Steve in the ear.


Anyway, the only solace he can find is in Aspie Max. This being Berkeley, everyone is Expressing their Emotional Support, even inviting Max back to the baseball team. Well, if he's going to do that, Adam has to coach him, which goes terribly until Limpy Drew offers to help, and though he's also awkward with a mitt, the alchemy between the three of them is awesome. I love these two kid actors, by the way! Limpy Drew is kind of nakedly heartbreaking when he asks Adam to let him play ball, and Max does an excellent job of balancing his freak-outs with awkward ball-playing!

Anywho, there's an awkward moment when Max, after several good days, freaks out over a promised trip to YogurtLand (why couldn't they just say Yogurt Park near Telegraph?) and Adam has to miss an also-promised game of catch with Limpy Drew, who goes back to being limpy after a couple days of having a personality. Sarah goes into Full! Freakout! Mode! Because Drew! Needs! A dad who isn't undependable! Which is so crappy, because Adam has to take care of Max before Drew for crap's sake! Which Sarah immediately realizes as Adam says "Because of your son, I've felt like Max is almost normal the past few days." So all right. The ep closes with Max catching a pop fly, thanks to all the coaching, and all three guys practicing ball later, in the dark. So ador.

So what's up with the other siblings? Well, Julia the Lawyer Mom (Erika Christensen) is causing trouble left and right. She orders daughter Sydney to stop letting queen-bee Harmony be the princess all the time, which just backfires when evil hippie whore Raquel (Harmony's mom) witnesses the failed coaching. Then, she bullies Crosby into asking for a paternity test for Jabbar, which also backfires as Jasmine freaks out. Later, she recants and says it's fine, but in the meantime, Julia realizes she's a total control freak. SAHD Joel has the remedy: They'll sneak into the local pool at night! Woo hoo! Much giggling and grab-assing ensues. I get it: He's a house-husband, but one that's still All Man.

Sarah (Lauren Graham) is gratified at parent-teacher day to hear that Amber is an English-class genius -- until she realizes the paper that gave that impression is hers, cadged from the attic and handed in as Amber's work. To make things worse, the teacher is totes hot and keeps complementing her on how original and insightful the paper is, making Sarah feel all soft and gooey inside. Amber apologizes and puts things right, which is nice -- and Sarah starts to fall for Professor Von Young-Guy.

And Crosby (Dax Shepard). Oof-ah, Crosby. After the snafu with Jasmine, he's still got the Jabbar bomb to drop on his girlfriend. She's dragging him to the fertility clinic, where Dr. Knock-Me-Up is like "No, you are NOT going to wait three years." So she's ready to go full steam ahead into motherhood, even going so far as to stage a mini fertility ritual on the houseboat, when Crosby blurts out the news. (At least, this time, he doesn't do so IN FRONT OF THE KID. I guess people do learn.) Anyway, she's more upset that he's been hiding and sneaking around than about the kid -- I think -- and as he suspected she would, she stalks off in a huff, declaring that she shouldn't have been trying to force this on him if he wasn't ready. Well, duh.

Next week, the previews promise I'm going to see the hideous Raquel get some kind of come-uppance. Or at least Julia is going to find out the true depth of her awfulness and her sniffing around after SAHD. ROWR GIRL FIGHT!

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