Retro Night on "Law & Order: SVU:" TV Watch List for 3/29-4/4

Amy Keyishian

Law & Order: SVU
Photo from NBC
The most exciting thing I've seen on TV is an ad saying Mad Men is coming back this summer. Don Draper! Come back to me, Don Draper! Of course, summer is still three months away, so I'll tamp down my excitement and talk about this week's watchables. (DON DRAPER!!! Sorry.)

Monday 3/29 8 p.m. ABC
10 Things I Hate About You
Remember I told you to catch up with this smart, snappy series? You can watch a marathon of episodes today staring at 3 p.m. … or just catch the premiere at 8 p.m. Pause for genius.

Monday 3/29 8:30 p.m. CBS
Rules of Engagement
Been through couples therapy? Then you won't want to miss the sitcom version. See which one makes you laugh more -- your husband or Seinfeld's Puddy looking uncomfortable on the plaid couch.

Monday 3/29 10 p.m. TNT
Saving Grace
This is the premiere of the final season of Holly Hunter's intense, heartbreaking series about a female detective who's touched by an angel … but in the grittiest way you can imagine. This may be your last chance to fall under her spell -- you might want to take it.

Monday 3/29 11:30 p.m. NBC
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Lauren Graham! Yay!

Classic Movie of the Week:

Monday 3/29 TCM

Marx Brothers Marathon!

I know, I know. The zany antics are a tough sell for the kids; believe me, I'm going to be torturing mine. But there is something soul-soothing about it. Or maybe I'm weird.

Tuesday 3/30 9 p.m. HBO
I Have Tourette's But Tourette's Doesn't Have Me
This half-hour documentary is an up-close look at 12 kids with Tourette Syndrome. A must-see for any special-needs mom -- or kids who need help understanding this kind of thing.

Tuesday 3/30 10 p.m. ABC
Here it is: the premiere of the new season of the evil outer-space lizard show. Complete with gestating lizard baby. Come on. You know you wish you could see the ultrasound.

Wednesday 3/31 8 p.m. ABC
It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!
Insane. According to Wikipedia, this came out in 1974 -- but I do not remember it from my childhood. Do you?

Wednesday 3/31 9 p.m. FOX
American Idol
Like Usher? Because he's performing on tonight's episode. If nothing else, the outfit will be fablulawful.

Wednesday 3/31 10 p.m. NBC
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Something about serial killers. But guess who guest stars? Jaclyn Smith (ooh, wearing her own fashions?), Morgan Fairchild, Susan Anton, and Ann-Margret. It's like the creepiest episode of The Love Boat ever!

Thursday 4/1 9 p.m. ABC
Grey's Anatomy
Family drama alert! Alex's brother shows up and stirs up all sorts of daddy issues. Fisticuffs ensue. Just can't get enough.

Thursday 4/1 10 p.m. CBS
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Blah blah, yadda yadda, possible love story, crime scene. Here's what you need to know: This episode is called "Panty Sniffer." Ew. What is that about?

Thursday 4/1 9 p.m. FOX
Been missing The X-Files? Love super-corny acting? How about an episode that flashes back to 1985? I'm not saying that rings my bell, because that would make me feel old. So let's just leave it at that.

Thursday 4/19 12 p.m. ABC
Jimmy Kimmel
 Have you seen the viral videos of cutie-hipster band OK Go? Including their latest, involving a complicated Rube Goldberg machine? If not, watch it. Then watch them on Kimmel. So. Adorable.

Friday 4/2 8 p.m. ABC
Wife Swap
Do we like this show? I'm not all that sure I approve. Then again, freaky realistic baby-doll collection! Principles: out the window!

Saturday 4/3 8 p.m. ABC
The Ten Commandments
Charlton Heston as Moses. If you're not going to Mass, it's the least you can do... kidding! 

What are you watching this week?

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