"Modern Family" -- "Moon Landing" Recap

Amy Keyishian
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Modern Family

Photo Courtesy of ABC

To my chagrin, last night's episode was a repeat! But I'm going to recap it anyway, since I didn't do so the first time around. It'll get me warmed up for next week's new episode!

So you probably know: Modern Family is all about the Dunphys. Dad Jay, daughter Claire and son Mitchell, and their families.

First up: Claire's family. There's drama right off the bat, as daughter Haley is dumping her boyfriend Dylan. Claire says she's going to lunch with an old workmate; all three kids express surprise that Mom used to work. Husband Phil reminds them that she still works. "She just works for us now." Gosh, that's helpful. Anyway, she trots off to lunch with old pal Valerie (Minnie Driver), who at first seems envious of Claire's yummy-mummy home life. But in short order, we learn ...

Valerie has spent the intervening years steadily climbing up the corporate ladder to a corner office -- and has just landed the most coveted job at their old company, "the Paris job." Plus, she has four lovers. Suddenly anxious to prove her life is just as awesome, even if she's got three fewer lovers, Claire spontaneously invites her home.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch -- chaos. Phil has decided to try out a moustache. Don't ask why. Alex and Luke raid a neighbor's trash for post-party alcohol bottles to collect for the school recycling drive. The water's turned off because of neighbor's construction, so Phil heads outside to use the Porto-potty. Dylan pulls up, pinning him inside, and runs into the house to beg Haley to take him back.

Cue Claire's return. She pulls up to find Luke covered in Jagermeister, Alex chasing a rat that was hiding in the bottles, Haley flinging mementos out the window at a howling Dylan, and of course Phil, sticking his head out of the Porto-potty, congratulating himself on the very successful business he just took care of (it was a phone call, but Valerie doesn't know that). Valerie flees; Claire storms off in a huff, calling them alcohol-soaked hill people, fornicators, and Mario (it's a very big moustache).

Then she feels lame and comes home, wondering how she can apologize. No need; they felt bad themselves. The house is spotless, dinner's on the table, and nobody is giving anyone crap. "I never loved 'em more," Claire says in voice-over. "Why the HELL couldn't Valerie have seen them like that?!"

Meanwhile, the B story: Mitchell is flattered that his dad finally wants his legal advice, helping his wife, the young and sexy Gloria, deal with an auto accident. The truth becomes clear: Gloria's a crap driver, Jay's afraid to tell her, and the supreme irony is not lost on Mitchell that "your gay son is the only one who can stand up to your wife." He tries to confront her; she storms off (lotta storming in this ep!), then comes back, cowed and apologetic, because she drove into a giant cupcake.

Mitchell's husband Cameron plays racquetball with Jay. After an embarrassing encounter in the locker room (they touch butts on accident! "Like a high five, but a low two!"), they each win one game, and Jay emerges free of his usual homophobic fears … until he has another embarrassing "moon landing," this time with a total stranger, and bolts from the gym in terror.

Like I said, new Mod Fam next Wednesday.

What did you think of last night's episode? Do you have friends from your pre-kid days that just don't get you? Have you ever touched butts with someone at the gym?

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