Whoa. Amber Portwood is so much worse off than any of us realized. But at least SHE realizes it, apparently.

According to TMZ, the Teen Mom star's drug problem is so severe that "Amber believes prison is the only way to get clean because it will force her to kick the addiction cold turkey."

It's no surprise that Portwood has been battling a drug problem, but you might be surprised to hear which drug:

Sources told TMZ that "immediately following the reality TV star's incarceration, her last drug test came back positive for the opiate-based drug Suboxone ... a highly addictive drug similar to Morphine."

Yikes. Serious, but also super sad. Because here's the thing about Suboxone ...

It's time to kick back and enjoy the Memorial Day weekend everybody. And while that usually means heading to the beach, lake, or your neighbor's backyard, it's possible those outdoor plans might take a backseat to the weather.

Which is great! It will give you time to actually ponder the meaning of the weekend and give thanks to the men and women who serve our great country. Why not get yourself in the patriotic mood by firing up your DVD player, Netflix account, or whatever it is you kids do today to watch movies.

Here are 10 fantastic patriotic flicks to get your holiday weekend off to an All-American start.

Talk about a picture being worth a thousand words. This latest mugshot of Teen Mom's Amber Portwood speaks volumes about the 22-year-old's physical and mental state. What does it say?

To me, it says she's given up. As do her actions:

Yesterday, she told a judge she'd rather serve the 5 year prison sentence she got for drug possession in January than complete her court-mandated rehab program.

If that's not a sign the girl has thrown in the towel, I don't know what is.

Woo-hoo, Twi-hards!

It's about dang time we got a glimpse of brand new poster action, isn't it?!

I mean, seriously.

It's not like November is THAT far away. How long were we going to have to wait to catch a glimpse of official Breaking Dawn: Part 2 imagery, anyway?

Because while I know we get to see red-eyed vampire Bella in the movie trailer, that's simply not enough. After all ...

The new singing competition show Duets (yes, another talent show!) made its debut last night. The show has a bit of a twist in that the judges are famous singers who choose undiscovered talent to sing duets with. After a duet, the judges all rank the performance.

Last night, Kelly Clarkson and her finale duet partner, pink-haired Jordan Meredith, closed the show with a rousing rendition of "Stronger," but the ladies still came in with the second to lowest scores of the night. What happened?

Even though it's probably been quite a while since you had a childhood crush, I'm certain Moonrise Kingdom will have no trouble bringing back those first love memories for many -- and this time with a wonderfully quirky Wes Anderson twist!

Anderson's latest takes place on an island off the coast of New England in 1965. Sam and Suzy, two wise-beyond-their-years 12-year-olds, fall in love and decide to run away together. But while a hurricane is set to hit the island any moment, authorities (including sheriff Bruce Willis) struggle to find them and bring them back to safety.

Sounds like a sweet and special treat for Wes Anderson fans, but does it deliver? Check out the movie reviews and trailer here:

It's only been a couple of days since rumors hit the web that Teen Mom Jenelle Evans is pregnant again. Given her recent weight gain and the rushed engagement to ex-BF Gary Head, it just didn't seem completely out of the question. But apparently, the gossip is so wrong, and Jenelle is threatening to go to extremes to prove it.

She tweeted, "Maybe if I stop eating for a week my Fiance would love me and I wouldnt be so far sore tabloids can stop saying I'm pregnant."

Uh ... totally not understanding how Gary loving her for not eating works and not following the second part, either. ("So far sore tabloids"? Oh, dear, how Teen Mom + Twitter = death of English language ...) But I guess her point was that she's willing to pull a crazy stunt like starving herself just to prove to the gossip media that she's not preggers. Oh yeah, sounds like a grrrreat idea!

Just as the fans of Eat, Pray, Love used to run to India for meditation and Bali in the hopes of finding love, Fifty Shades of Grey readers are now following in the footsteps of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, visiting the hotel where some of the book's more infamous sex scenes took place, and buying up whips, paddles, and floggers from the local sex shop. Seriously, this is sad.

Most of the book takes place in Seattle (can't imagine what people are up to in the Starbucks bathrooms), but pivotal scenes take place in Portland. And by "pivotal," I mean someone gets whipped, presumably, or flogged, or spanked, or whatever.