34-Year-Old Stranger Arrested After Giving 4-Year-Old a Wet Willy

wet willy manPeople do weird things. Unexplainable things. Things that shouldn't be done. Such is the case for 34-year-old Shelton, Connecticut, man Michael Migani, who gave a 4-year-old a wet willy. A 4-year-old he didn't know. (Not that I condone wet willies to 4-year-olds you know either.) The gross act got him arrested, delivering to us this priceless mug shot along with one very important question.

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Why?

I'll set the scene. Migani was in a waiting room in a business on Center Street. A 4-year-old child was also there with his mother. They didn't know this bearded man, but for some reason, Migani was compelled to stick his finger in his mouth and then put his wet finger in the child's ear.

Hope he's healthy because ... that's just wrong.

Not only is this completely disgusting to do to someone you know, it's revolting to do to someone you don't know.

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I would be livid if some wackadoodle stranger wet willied my kid. But arrested? I guess so. Guy has to learn this isn't acceptable behavior, so in the slammer he went. What could have possessed this man to do this though? It's so weird! No one gives wet willies anymore. I bet he rides seatbeltless in the front seat of his car listening to Captain and Tennille on his 8-track. "Do that to me one more time ... once is never enough ..." Oh wait! NO! We are not talking about wet willies in that song, Mister! Migani must drink Schlitz and wear Old Spice -- the original, none of those new scents. This guy definitely still has a landline and a rotary phone. He's so retro. Doesn't he know that the "new" wet willy is simply minding your own business and keeping your hands -- particularly your saliva-saturated finger -- to yourself?

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I don't even think parents who approve of chicken pox parties will be down with this guy's approach.

When mom saw what this creep did to her kid, she confronted him as did a member of the staff. That's when Migani ran away -- the guy took off in his (getaway) car.

But you can't escape the police, and Migani was caught and charged with second-degree reckless endangerment and second-degree breach of peace. He (along with his wayward fingers) was released thanks to a $500 bond. The court will see him on August 19. It's clear he's really, really sorry he was captured. I mean ... look at that mug shot. He's been crying.

WTNH News 8 posted the story to their Facebook page and the comments are quite noteworthy. One reader said the guy's punishment for giving a wet willy should be a purple nurple. Another felt he deserved a punch in the face from mom. Many felt this was a perverted act. Some didn't know what a wet willy was. 

See? It's so retro that the youth of today doesn't know what it is!

I think this guy should be sentenced to a year of eating the boogers of the kid he wet willied. That and one wet willy from a guy at least two times the size of him. Seems only fair.

 

Image via Shelton Police

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