News

What This Clueless Guy Did After His Girlfriend's Abortion Is Definition of What Not to Do

NewsPublished May 7, 2019
By Kaitlin Stanford
Woman cries on the flooriStock/grinvalds

Anyone who's ever had to terminate a pregnancy for any reason at all will tell you the decision is never made lightly. And although no two women react the same to having been through one, it's probably fair to say that all go through an emotional roller coaster in the days, weeks, and sometimes even years following the procedure. That is why it was all the more heartbreaking to read a woman's anonymous story that she shared in which she details her boyfriend's complete lack of support surrounding her abortion. It's no wonder that the post has the Internet fired up and coming to her defense.

These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
In her original post, the woman explains that she's been dating her boyfriend for over a year, and despite using protection, she recently became pregnant.-placeholder
In her original post, the woman explains that she's been dating her boyfriend for over a year, and despite using protection, she recently became pregnant.
Reddit

In her original post, the woman explains that she's been dating her boyfriend for over a year, and despite using protection, she recently became pregnant.

At 21 years old, she knew that it wasn't the right time in her life to have a baby, and she says they jointly made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. 

As soon as she asked her boyfriend to come support her during the procedure, however, things started to get weird. And by weird, I mean totally screwed up.

For starters, he refused to go with her, claiming that he couldn't take off work. But she claims he works from home with a flexible schedule.

" I asked my [boyfriend] if he could come and support me through the procedure. He said he didn’t want to take a day off," she wrote. "Full disclosure if it gives insight: he works from home taking contracts as a programmer, makes $150k a year and can take off whenever he feels like it."

(Getting a little PO'd yet? Just wait.)

In the meantime, she had the procedure alone because he said he wasn't coming and that she needed to take care of it and, in her words, "it went as well as can be expected." But then she stopped by her boyfriend's house, where he claimed to have a "surprise" for her.

Now, I'm not sure what you're imagining the surprise to be here. I'm not even sure I had anything in mind. But I'm willing to bet that of the thousands of possible gifts one might give someone after they've just gone through an emotional traumatic event, it would not be this.

Waiting to greet her at her boyfriend's house was "a small, child sized bowl with cutesy animals on it." WTF?

She tried to be as polite as one could be after receiving such a truly bizarre and emotionally tone-deaf present. She thanked him, but also mentioned that, ya know, maybe this isn't the best gift to give after your girlfriend has just had an abortion. And she explained what a difficult day she just had.

But that's when the real kick in the pants happened. 

"He then told me he had a wonderful day with his family," the poster continued, "and proceeded to show me a video of his father and nephew doing egg hunts together, and the father teaching the nephew to wash his hands, etc."

Yes, that's right -- he had a WONDERFUL day with family, while she was alone at a clinic, wishing she had someone's hand to hold.

Naturally, she says, she "started bawling." And although she clarifies that she doesn't regret her decision, she admits to still feeling sensitive about it, which is only human and completely understandable. 

Except that to her apparently nonhuman boyfriend, it wasn't that understandable at all.

"He became very cold and asked me to stop crying, saying that I was overreacting, and he was just trying to make me feel better," her post continued. "He didn’t apologize and we went to bed upset. I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cramping and sore, so I went on his couch and had a good cry. Apparently that woke him up because he came to ask me if I was going to continue crying for long and told me to turn off the lights ASAP because I was being inconsiderate."

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

If you're as perplexed as I am over this, we're not alone. Reddit users began jumping in to tell the woman her boyfriend is totally in the wrong.

And some even went one step further, telling her he's got to go.

"Seems to me like it might be time to pull the ripcord on that relationship," wrote one user. "This just seems like a mountain of red flags all landed on you at once."

"We're past red flags ... that guy is launching giant red tomahawk missiles," another chimed in. "Time to abort mission."

Some tried to argue that maybe he wasn't actually comfortable with her having the abortion in the first place.-placeholder
Some tried to argue that maybe he wasn't actually comfortable with her having the abortion in the first place.

Some tried to argue that maybe he wasn't actually comfortable with her having the abortion in the first place.

But the original poster was quick to shoot that one down, saying that the decision was made together, and he "explicitly" told her he was on board. (Plus, even so -- is that really the way to react?)

And if you're thinking to yourself that the guy must be young and may be having issues processing it all, I have one word for you: NOPE.

According to the poster, her boyfriend is 29 years old. That's a grown-ass man, people. One who's old enough to know how to be supportive of his partner.

I believe one Reddit user said it best in this comment:

"Sis, let me tell you something you may not want to hear. 29 year old men are just that, men. You're probably looking at him through the lens of 21-ism, the world is wide and full of possibility, people around you are going to grow and change and in 10 years they'll be barely recognizable as the people they were. Your boyfriend is not going through that. His 10 years have passed. This is his personality. If he's treating you like this now, early in your relationship, during something this serious and scary for you, it will only get worse from here. Looks fade. Money often fades. A sh*tty personality doesn't easily fade. Go off and find someone who loves you as truly and deeply as you deserve ... and flirt with cute bartenders for free drinks in the meantime- you're only 21 once."

AMEN, SISTER.

Others chimed in to share their own abortion stories, including one woman who said her boyfriend was at "every appointment" with her.-placeholder
Others chimed in to share their own abortion stories, including one woman who said her boyfriend was at "every appointment" with her.
Reddit

Others chimed in to share their own abortion stories, including one woman who said her boyfriend was at "every appointment" with her.

"This is how every boyfriend should deal with their girlfriend getting an abortion, not like the a**hole OP had to deal with," the user wrote.

Others called out his straight-up weird behavior, aside from his cold demeanor.

"What psychopath gives a girl 'gifts' like those when she’s just had an abortion?" another wrote. "I’d be out of there ASAP."

The original poster has since updated to thank all of Reddit for the support and to share that she's going to have a talk with her boyfriend.

Here's hoping she gets him to understand what a massive jerk he's been. Or, better yet, maybe she'll take Reddit's advice and kick him to the curb. (Because seriously, WTH?)

Cafemom Logo
This is motherhood #nofilter

AboutTermsContactPrivacyPRIVACY SETTINGSSUBMIT A STORY
© 2024 WILD SKY MEDIA.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
PART OF WILD SKY MEDIA
| FAMILY & PARENTING
CAFEMOMMAMÁSLATINAS
LITTLETHINGSMOM.COM
This site is owned and operated by Bright Mountain Media, Inc., a publicly owned company trading with the symbol: BMTM.