White House Bomb Threat Was a Scary Waste of Everyone’s Time & Tax Dollars

white houseDid you hear -- there was an explosion at the White House and President Obama was injured! Oh wait, no, that's a false rumor. But wait -- a terrorist organization threatened to detonate bombs planted in the White House unless the U.S. declares war on North Korea! Oh wait, no ...

A hacker group has been stirring up public paranoia this afternoon. First, they hacked the AP's Twitter account and posted a false tweet that the White House had been bombed: "Two Explosions in the White House and Barack Obama is injured." Within 15 minutes the tweet was caught and Twitter suspended the AP's account, but not before about 4,000 retweets happened. As for the White House bomb threat, that actually did happen. But it was an empty threat -- just another stupid case of swatting.


The hacker group responsible for the AP's fake tweet and the White House bomb threat appear to be the same group known for swatting celebs: Rihanna, Ryan Seacrest, Tom Cruise, Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown, and even Michelle Obama. Today they called 911 and said they'd detonate eight bombs planted around the White House if Obama didn't declare war within 24 hours.

I can't imagine that anyone on the receiving end of that call really thought there were eight bombs planted around the White House. But they're not going to take anything for granted, either. So our government money was probably spent tracking down these asshats and making sure the White House really is safe.

Meanwhile, White House spokesman Jay Carney had to come out and assure the public "the president is fine" and there were no explosions (like he doesn't have more important things to do). And major stock price averages plunged for a few minutes there -- seriously, this fuckery affected the stock market.

So thank you very much for wasting everyone's time, you jerks. It's not enough that everyone's feeling jumpy from the Boston bombings and fallout, and the ricin mail, and everything else. Now we have this fake fear to sort through, too. And here I am, writing about it. I'm feeling so much resentment right now.

But at least we'll always have comedy! Hooray, people making jokes about the AP hack. I feel a little better now.

Had you heard about these rumors?


Image via Schindler_Project/Flickr

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