10 Sex Confessions From Real Moms

posted by Jill Smokler February 25 at 8:10 AM in Love & Sex

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Ever wonder what really goes on behind the bedroom doors of your friends and neighbors? It is Fifty Shades or Married With Children or somewhere in between?

Taking a look through my Scary Mommy Confessions always offers some great insight into the real lives of moms. Here are 10 of my favorite sex-related confessions ...

10 Baby Experiences I'm Sad I Missed Out On

posted by Jill Smokler February 18 at 8:26 AM in Baby

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I recently came to terms with the fact that I am done having children.

There will be no more cribs in our house, no more bottles to be sanitized and no more diapers to be purchased. And I am fine with that. More than fine, I'm GREAT with that.

But there are a few things I'm sorry that I never had the chance to use or do when my kids were babies ...

LOL

15 Candy Conversation Hearts for My Children

posted by Jill Smokler February 11 at 3:47 PM in Big Kid

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My friend Jenny wrote a hysterical post last week on what candy conversation hearts should say once you've been married a while. Things like, "I BOUGHT ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES, DON’T WORRY THEY WERE ON SALE"; "SHH ... THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS IS ON"; and "NO, I WON’T PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH." You know, real life, none of that "hot stuff" crap.

Her post inspired me to come up with some conversation hearts for my own dear children this Valentine's Day. Lord knows, I've tried every way on Earth to get through to them, why not with candy?

15 Things Only Parents Say

posted by Jill Smokler February 4 at 8:04 AM in Toddler

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Last week, I told my son to finish his cheeseburger if he expected to eat dessert. I then laughed at the absurdity of having to finish a delicious, juicy burger before going on to chocolate. Oh, to be a child again. I find myself saying these things countless times a day: The things that would only make sense coming from a parent.

Turns out I'm not the only one. Here are 15 things parents on my message boards have uttered lately, much to their dismay ...

Hot List

10 Reasons It's Impossible to Embarrass a Mom

posted by Jill Smokler January 28 at 12:29 PM in Beauty & Style

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A couple of months ago, I spent an afternoon making an ass out of myself with The Stir's Lindsay Ferrier as part of Lindsay's "I'll Take That Dare" show. We took to the streets of Nashville wearing Japanese beauty products that promised to take years off of our faces. We looked asinine and the only thing the products resulted in was our getting looked at like we were insane, and chocolate ice cream never being all that appealing again.

Unlike my pre-mommy days when I'd easily embarrass, I would take that dare again, because walking around looking like an idiot pales in comparison to some of the things my children have put me through.

10 Reasons I Wish All the Kids Would Play at YOUR House Instead of Mine

posted by Jill Smokler January 21 at 8:57 AM in Big Kid

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Growing up, I spent a good deal of time at other people's homes. My house was never the one where everyone congregated, and I vowed things would be different when I had a house of my own. I wanted my house to be the place that offered the best snacks and the cozy home away from home where everyone wanted to be. Snort.

As a grown up, I've seen the light. Being the go-to house isn't all it's cracked up to be and I am more than happy to send my kids elsewhere for hours at a time.

25 Most Annoying Kid Habits

posted by Jill Smokler January 14 at 11:57 AM in Big Kid

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There is no love on Earth like a mother's love. It's unconditional and all-consuming and more powerful than anything else I know. And we love our children completely: Their hands, their faces, the way they smell, their voices, the way they look when they're sleeping ... All of them.

Well, all of them, except for a few little things. In fact, some things about our kids, we simply can't stand. Here are the top 25 things about their kids that drive my friends crazy ...

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10 Requirements for the Perfect Babysitter

posted by Jill Smokler January 7 at 8:32 AM in Big Kid

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My family and I find ourselves in a most unfortunate predicament right now: We are without a reliable babysitter. All of the teenagers on our street are suddenly too cool to sacrifice a Saturday night, and much as my mom loves her grandkids, a standing weekend sleepover with all three wasn't too appealing to her.

Since it seemed to work in Mary Poppins, I thought I'd write out my wish list and see if the universe sends the perfect sitter to my doorstep.

25 Best Mom Confessions of 2012

posted by Jill Smokler December 31, 2012 at 8:04 AM in Big Kid

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It's that time of year again! Time to take a look at my Scary Mommy Confessions and pick my all-time favorites from the past year. Here are the top confessions that left me nodding my head and laughing in solidarity. Can YOU relate to any? (And if you can't, can you please tell me your secret!!)

10 of the Craziest Pinterest Ideas Ever

posted by Jill Smokler December 24, 2012 at 8:18 AM in Home & Garden

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I made a vow last year to stay away from Pinterest because it made me feel so badly about myself. Little by little, though, I've found my way back. Last week, I let my son convince me to conduct a series of experiments, which of course completely flopped. The week before, I attempted an "easy" chocolate cake which nobody in my house would even eat. And the week before that, I actually bought glass bottles to house my dish soap in. How did I allow this to happen?!?

Where Pinterest is concerned, I'm trying to learn my limits. It's great for inspiration, but for moms like me, can also be the ultimate disaster. Here are ten ideas I'll most definitely be staying away from ...