We’re currently at Disney World with the kids. Unlike our first trip when we didn’t know better, we waited until the morning we left to break the exciting news this time. Unfortunately, like most other things in parenthood, it didn’t happen exactly as planned.

In case you’ve got a trip to Disney in the future, I thought I’d weigh the pros and cons of a surprise for you. The moral of the story, of course, is that you can never predict your children. And they will always find something to whine about. 

Ever looked for a Mother's Day card, only to find that what you want to say can't be found? Yeah, me too. In case you're struggling to find one for your MIL, SIL, or frenemy, I've whipped up a few that Hallmark seems to have avoided. I can't imagine why!

There was a time, not all that long ago, when I couldn't imagine happily spending a single night without my children. When I would cry over the thought of a missed bedtime story or morning without seeing their sleepy little faces. When the notion of a bed to myself seemed lonelier than it did luxurious.

That was then.

These days, I've gotten more accustomed to leaving my kids every now and then, and every trip I take, it gets a little easier. But every single time I leave, I suffer the same ailments ...

I posted this picture on Facebook over the weekend. It was met with countless "how did you manage to capture all three of them?" and "that's a miracle!" responses.

Yes, folks, after five years of unsuccessfully attempting to capture all three of my kids in the same frame, I've finally discovered the secret behind it. Well, five of them. And it's your lucky day, because I'm sharing ...

Last week, I spent four days away from my children promoting my new book in NYC. I had a bed all to myself, a bathroom door that remained shut when I closed it, and didn't have to make one lunch or Band-Aid one boo-boo the whole time. In other words, for four days, I wasn't much of a mom. The trip was exciting and thrilling and fun, but the best moment of all was the one when I walked back through the door into the arms of three kids, who were just as happy to see me as I was them.

So, in honor of that moment, I'm skipping the snark and focusing on the things I missed most when I was away from my kids; surprisingly, they are some of the things I tire of most easily when I'm home non-stop ...

Our mom yells a lot. To wake up, to stop fighting, to put on our shoes already. And it's not that we don't deserve it ... because we do, it's just that it's not all that effective. Like, at all.

With some help from my brother and sister, we've come up with a list of why parents should never yell at their kids. We hope she reads it and realizes how very wise we are. 

My middle child lost a tooth last week. Again. And I once again found myself rummaging through every drawer in the house at 2 o'clock in the morning, desperately in search of a dollar bill. I finally ended up digging a bill out of his sister's piggy bank and waking her in the process, wondering who on earth came up with this tradition of trading teeth for cash in the first place. I may be alone here, but I hate the tradition. Why?

I was perusing Pinterest last night, and came across this image, which had been pinned by one of my friends along with 1700+ other people ... As I often do, when I run across inspirational quotes, I rolled my eyes, threw up in my mouth a little and questioned my taste in friends.

I mean, I love my husband to death, but is that how I would sum up marriage? Snort.

For me, marriage is more like a never ending game of playing make-believe grown ups, but with real bills to pay and people to take care of. Sometimes, it's wonderful and other times it sucks.

Fortunately, many of my friends could relate (not including, of course, the one who pinned that picture to begin with.)

I asked them to finish the sentence "Marriage is ... " and here are some of my favorite answers ...