Hilary & Haylie Duff Are on a Mission to End the 'Mommy Wars' -- Let's Join Them

DufsNo one likes to feel judged -- especially on her mothering skills. Celebrity sisters and moms Hilary and Haylie Duff have teamed up with Similac and its "Sisterhood of Motherhood" to put an end to the "mommy wars." Hilary, who is mom to 3-year-old Luca, shared her experiences with mom-on-mom bullying at a breakfast hosted by the Today Parenting Team.



The 27-year-old talked about some of her more challenging mom moments that were a result of unexpected criticism.  

The Lizzie McGuire star said when her son was younger he had back-to-back ear infections. When another mom learned that she'd put the little guy on antibiotics, Duff immediately came under fire for not first trying essential oils.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't [try essential oils]. I don't know anything about that," she said. "I did the best I could."

The Breathe In. Breathe Out singer said she also feels judged when talk turns to Baby No. 2. Duff, who is separated from her husband, hockey player Mike Comrie, shared that when people find out her son is approaching 4, they typically tell her, "It's time for the next one!" 

The star said while she'd certainly like Luca to have a sibling, it's "nobody's business." Her sister, Hayley, agreed and said she often faces questions about when she'll marry fiancé Matt Rosenberg, with whom she has a 4-month-old daughter, Ryan. hilary, hayley duff Just because something isn't happening according to the traditional time frame doesn't give others a right to judge, the sisters agreed. The pair also believes it's important that moms acknowledge that what worked for them when it comes to parenting might not work for everyone else.

More from The Stir: Judgy Moms Have No Business Telling Other Moms How to Raise Their Kids 

Hilary said she believes that while some advice might be coming from a good place initially, it's not always helpful or appreciated. 

"Our skin isn’t thick and tough all the time," she said. "Yes, we're tough as nails, but we're soft inside and it hurts."

More from The Stir10 Things I Really Wanted to Say in Response to "You're Not Breastfeeding?!"

So just how do we put an end to the mommy wars and embrace the sisterhood of motherhood? 

The resolution is really to start with yourself, the Duffs agreed. Panel expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary, PhD, explained that most "mommy judging" stems from our own insecurities as we try to build up our own "inner worth."
"It comes from their own place of lack," Tsabary said. "We are all judges. We need to acknowledge that and have compassion for our own insecurities. Children don't need parents who are in constant competition. They need moms who feel secure, at ease, happy, and present."
The Duffs noted that it's important for women not to judge themselves too harshly as mothers and said they'll both think twice about what they "put out there into the world."

"We talk to children about not bullying," Haylie said, "but we’re women who are bullying each other. Even though I’m a new mom, it’s my responsibility to stop that behavior, and bringing attention to that early is really important."

Amen, sisters! 

You can still check out the live-streamed breakfast panel event for the next 24 hours (today 9/15) via Periscope. Get the info on how to watch the Stop Mom Judging discussion at Today Parents.

Images via Liz Alterman 

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