Parenting

Woman Demands Twin Sister Change Adopted 5-Year-Old's Name So She Can Use It Instead

ParentingPublished Apr 6, 2020
By Genny Glassman
Woman demands twin sister change adopted 5-year-old's name so she can use it insteadiStock

For twins, it can be a long and hard-fought journey to establish themselves outside of their sibling. I mean if you spent your whole life dressing like your sister, wouldn't you have some issues, too? Well one woman certainly does, as is clear by how she reacted when her sister told her she was adopting a 5-year-old -- who happened to have the same name as her *dream* baby name

"A lot of parents change their adopted kids’ names," she argued. "They could do that."

These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
Growing up the Redditor says she felt like she was never allowed to have her own things.-placeholder
Growing up the Redditor says she felt like she was never allowed to have her own things.
Reddit

Growing up the Redditor says she felt like she was never allowed to have her own things.

They have names that rhyme, were dressed alike, and even shared a room, she wrote on Reddit's Am I The A--hole. But it never bothered the poster's sister like it does her.

"She always wanted to do same activities as me and hang out with my friend group," she wrote.

But things got significantly better for the OP when she went away to a different college than her sister.

For her, it was a major breakthrough to have her own space and identity.

"Our relationship improved when I had my own space where I could be myself and not one of the interchangeable twins," she explained.

Last year she moved back to her hometown to settle down with her husband.

They were hoping to be close to her family again, including her sister, who has been married for four years. Unfortunately, her twin's husband can't have kids. 

"They decided to adopt, which I think is fantastic," she continued.

Currently, the OP is pregnant with her own baby girl.

She and her husband spent a lot of time dreaming of the perfect baby name, and they finally picked out the perfect one, which she refers to only as "B."

"I feel SO good about this name," she swooned.

The day before she posted, her sister announced that they finally found the child they wanted to adopt.

Although they wanted a baby, the couple ended up going with a 5-year-old.

"She looks absolutely precious," the woman wrote. In fact, she was thrilled ... until her sister announced the girl's name.

"Her name is B, the name that my sister KNOWS is my daughter's," she charged.

At first the Redditor thought her sister was joking -- I mean, twins can't have daughters with the same name, can they?

Not only was she worried that "everyone would laugh" at the sisters -- "I feel like all of my problems with my sister will repeat themselves as everyone compares the girls and lumps them together because they have the same name."

"They won't be able to have a good relationship because of this," she added.

And she wasn't willing to give up the name either.

"I don't want people nicknaming my kid to distinguish her because I like the FULL name I chose," she wrote. She even suspected that her sister picked a child with the same name on purpose.

"I am planning to talk to my sister about the situation," she continued. "One of us needs to change our kid's name and I'm hoping she'll be reasonable."

And if all else fails, her baby will be there before her sister's adopted child will be.

Other plans the OP thought of: her sister and her husband could change their 5-year-old's name or "If the kid won't change her name, my sister and her husband could go with a different kid."

"There are thousands upon thousands of orphans who need loving homes and 99.9999 percent of them don't have this one particular name," she reasoned.  "They haven't bonded with this one yet. I already have bonded with my baby and I can't imagine her with another name."

Ooooh, boy. Did people have feelings about this one.

The comment section was not a fan of this soon-to-be mom's contingency plans.

"At first I thought your sister was planning to change this child’s name to your preferred name and was prepared to go off on her for that, setting aside any twin issues you might have, because that is an objectively [expletive] thing to do to a child," one person wrote. "It took a minute for me to get that this is what you want her to do. You are an unbelievable [expletive]."

"Parents who change their adopted kids names only do that with like, infants who have no attachment to the name, or if it's necessary for the kid's safety, not to some random 5-year-old because someone in the family wants the name," a second commenter added. "YTA, OP. Plain and simple."

And someone else put it bluntly: "Who cares if cousins have the same name anyway?" the commenter wrote.

And that's our feelings exactly. The OP needs to take a breather and remember that her new niece will need a lot of love and support -- not an aunt who resents her for having the same name as her baby.

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