35-Year-Old Mom Jessica Simpson & 17-Year-Old Kylie Jenner Wore the Same Bathing Suit: Why Are We Comparing Them?

Remember when we were in elementary school and were asked to “compare and contrast” two objects? Those teachers were offering lessons in color spectrum, geometry and structure. I wonder if they had any idea we’d soon be asked to do the same by the media. In today’s installment, compare a model, a recent high school grad, and a mother of two. In bathing suits that don't resemble winter wear. You see where this one is going?


E! News blurted the headline: "Jessica Simpson Rocks the Same Sexy Black Bathing Suit as Kendall and Kylie Jenner—So, Who Wore It Better?"

It wasn’t an invitation to learn something new or investigate a unique phenomenon. Three women are wearing the same thing and they toss the photos into a ring like a hunk of meat into a lion den. Unlike those elementary school science experiments, people don’t stick with the obvious. Um, they are all posing in a bathing suit, with shoulders and knees and breasts. Some have brown hair, some have blond. They are three different heights. Why are you even asking?

Instead, they prefer to get nasty. One response included a variation on the original “once you’ve become a mom you should shrivel up and die” argument.

At the age of 35 Jessica needs to let it go and just be a mom. Why compete with 18 and 19 year old? Just like in Fried Green Tomatoes the younger girls are hotter and faster, and Jessica has better insurance. Move on Jess!

Um, ok? I wonder what “just being a mom” looks like. Apparently it doesn’t involve wearing a bathing suit on a yacht, which is a relief, because I’ve never done that but I have given birth to two children who insist I feed them and interact with them multiple times per day.

More from The Stir: Kendall and Kylie Jenner Wear the Same Swimsuit as Jessica Simpson

Another seemed to compliment Jessica Simpson, but then took a sharp turn into McJudgerville. “The monokini looks better on Jessica, but she really has unattractive legs! They just look weird.” Wow. In that whole fabulous picture, this is what one woman chose to focus on? Congratulations, media. You’ve taught someone how to nitpick with the best of 'em.

And no forum would be complete without a shaming comment such as, “It's inappropriate on all of them. What happened to modesty?” Meanwhile I was wondering what happened to tact. Live and let live, people.

Although some restraint would be nice, I don’t blame these people for weighing in on a question that was asked. It would be even better if entertainment news sources stopped pitting women against each other in the most superficial and inane way possible: by looking at their bodies and clothes.

I’d love to see a “who said it better?” and have quotes about important topics such as how to get through a toddler temper tantrum or how to feel comfortable in a body that’s always changing. I know it’s not like reading The Economist, but it isn’t too much to ask for more important questions and topics, even from our entertainment. Women shouldn’t be reduced to the same comparison I make when trying to buy fruit at the grocery store for sport.


Image via jessicasimpson/Instagram


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