Chris Martin & Jennifer Lawrence Breakup Blamed on His Kids

chris martinWhen two people who have children get divorced, there is the inevitable "what about the kids?" concern. For most parents, it's all about the kids, meaning they have carefully considered the ramifications of the divorce. Kids should grow up seeing a healthy, loving relationship and not two parents fighting all the time. And while I cannot imagine Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin screaming at each other and throwing wine glasses around in disgust, I can picture their conscious uncoupling being discussed in Virasana pose.

Perhaps they talked about Chris dating Jennifer Lawrence and what it means for the kids in Warrior II. There is so much to consider when you're a single parent dating again. And so much for Jennifer to consider when dating a man who is a dad. It became too much, apparently, and Chris and Jennifer broke up with the reason reportedly being the kids. What about the kids?!


Let's remember that Jennifer is 24 years old, quite the darling of Hollywood right now, and doesn't have any kids. We can assume that JLaw is able to and most likely does go out to parties and clubs and seeing cool bands play (Coldplay included) until about three hours before the time many parents are waking up in order to wake their kids up so they get to the school bus on time. I'm not saying that people who have kids never partake in such an activity, just that we do it with a lot more concern. That full-on carefree spirit is something that goes away once you're a parent. Maybe Jen thought that because Chris is in a band, things would be different. But this is Coldplay we're talking about. Not Fall Out Boy. And so ...

It's being reported that Jen started to become disenchanted with Chris when she began feeling like the third wheel. If this is true, did she really think that she would come first after mere months of dating? Or ever? Does she not have a dog or a cat that she needs to walk and feed? She just didn't get it. But we can't expect her to -- the parent club that we parents are in just sees things a little bit differently. It's not that we want to exclude the others -- we don't -- it's just different. Just like I cannot imagine what life is like to be a man even if I convincingly dressed up as one for a week. (I haven't, for the record.) A source close to the couple has revealed some dirt. That source said:

The kids would constantly call Chris when he was with Jennifer, and whatever they were doing would have to come to a standstill.

So let me get this straight. The kids would call their dad because they needed their dad to be their dad and he stopped everything to take their call and be a dad. I think that would melt my heart. It would make me look at a man and think how incredible it is that he loves his kids so selflessly. Good for Chris Martin for his priorities. I'm certain most parents would think that taking time to talk to their kids on the phone when they need them is more important than finishing a pint at the bar with Jennifer Lawrence. (I would hope so, at least.)

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The story goes that Jennifer realized this wasn't the guy for her, considering his fatherly-duties and all, and so it's over. I'm not saying Jennifer is wrong here. In fact, good for her too for realizing she wasn't ready for all of this with a man who has children. Dating a person who has kids is hard. Dating when you have kids is hard. I know firsthand.

Any man or woman who doesn't have kids and dates a person who has kids is great in my book. They are giving us a chance when others wouldn't. So they have that going for them. But there are the times when things feel forced and awkward and maybe the guy you're dating speaks to your kids in that little baby voice that people do when they don't know how to be around kids even though the kids aren't babies. There are also the types who prefer to check their phone when they could have been trying to interact more with your kids, in better ways, instead of killing time until the little ones went to sleep. Those situations will make a dating parent wish they kept it separate, and didn't introduce the boyfriend or girlfriend to the children. I don't blame the childless person -- like I said, dating a person who has kids when you don't is a challenge; it's a major life change. Parents can't just go out to dinner spur of the moment without finding a sitter. They can't cook romantic meals by candlelight without having their spawn on that date, too. If we get a phone call from the school saying our kid is sick, we drop everything to take care of our sick kid. Everything.

For parents, there is also the guilt. Even though divorced parents may have completed relinquished their guilt about the divorce itself, dating again brings up a whole other issue. Spending time with someone else when you should be spending time with your kids. But we find ways to let that go because parents, yes, even people with kids, deserve to have their own life, too, outside of just being a parent. Chris taking the calls from his kids shows that this guy is a great dad.

Jennifer and Chris tried. The first person you date after a marriage that ended in divorce doesn't often work out forever. But what is necessary for it to work out any time is a very understanding partner, someone who loves kids, would treat yours as their own (someday), someone who gets it that you have a responsibility to your kids first, and someone who is ready for all the unknowns. What it also comes down to is love. We can't blame the kids. We can't blame the not having kids. If you truly fall in love and love someone, you can make anything work. And because they didn't have that, we have to bid adieu to Chris + Jennifer. And somewhere maybe Gwyneth is saying I knew it.

Are you surprised about their breakup? Do you think it was because of the kids?

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