Miley Cyrus' Parents Must Be Living Out My Biggest Kid Fears

miley cyrusWhen I see someone like Miley Cyrus, I don't really see a talented, young superstar. I see a young woman who could be my daughter and I freak out. Technically, she could be, but my daughter is just 3. Still, I worry about those years the most -- those late-teens, just into the 20s. Miley's parents -- Tish and Billy Ray -- had to not only deal with everything all parents go through when parenting a young woman (how do people deal!?!), but their daughter is in the public eye and has tons of money. People want to be her, people want to use her, and she's gorgeous if not a little precocious. Dangerous combination.

Plus the rebellious haircut, the tattoos, the fiance -- all at the tender age of 20. Someone hold me.


Miley is a stunning young lady. Gosh I sound old saying that. I can't pretend anymore that I'm anything like the hot young stars when I am in fact older than Justin Bieber's parents. It's a sobering reality. So I can call these kids young lady or young man or even whippersnapper when I'm feeling particularly feisty with my arthritic head wiggle and finger shake.

Look, I adore her haircut. But if she was my daughter and she went from long locks to that, I'd worry. BIG TIME. I'd think this was some sort of rebellion, something life-changing is going on that she isn't telling me. She shaved the sides of her head! That's what Britney did before all hell broke loose in her life. What does it mean for Miley?! Plus she basically wore a black bra on Leno. Baby doll, don't tell me you're having sex, too. She is. Of course she is. I can't handle it. My daughter is never having se--- I can't even say it. Fingers in ears. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

Then we have the tattoos. She has one on her ear, her ankle, her forearm, some on her fingers, and a huge dreamcatcher on her ribcage that is slightly visible in this photo. HOT! But she can't be hot. She's still a child! I have tattoos. I know the stigma people have about them, but as I've embarrassingly disclosed, I'm older than Miley. Perhaps my kids will look at my tattoos and not want to get any because mom has them and that makes them so not cool. Let me dream. But if my daughter came to me at that age and asked to get one, I'd encourage her to wait until she was absolutely sure and it couldn't be on her fingers or her ear or her forearm or anywhere sexy. And then off she would go to the nunnery.

And there's that engagement ... Miley was just 19 years old when Liam Hemsworth popped the question. He was 22. They are babies! Of course I didn't think I was a baby at that age. I thought I was mature and had it together and didn't need nobody to tell me nothing 'cause I knew it all. (Cue maniacal laughter.) Sure some do have it together at that age, but I was not one of them. And sure Miley has a ton of money most 20-year-olds don't have. But money isn't everything. Money buys you trouble. And please let it not be true at all that they are breaking up because I can't deal with a single and dating again daughter. I mean, Miley. Projecting!!

I've got years to go before I deal with these older kid years with my daughter and son, but it scares the crap out of me now. Kids just seem to be growing up too fast too soon these days and, well, that just means more time for me to stress about it. Grrrrreat! 

Do you see "kids" like Miley Cyrus and worry about your own kids at that age? Parents of older kids, please say it's not that bad!


Image via Splash

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