'Suri Cruise' Writes Book Making Fun of Celebrity Kids

suri's burn bookPractical jokes make me uncomfortable. I often get uneasy when people are made fun of, particularly kids. Especially if it's an adult making a joke at a child's expense. It's a form of bullying, don't you think? An adult heckling a kid behind their back is bad news. But an adult teasing a kid with a website and book devoted to making fun of just about every celebrity kid out there? Not cool at all. Which is exactly the case in Suri's Burn Book, Well-Dresed Commentary From Hollywood's Little Sweetheart by Allie Hagan, an adult who pretends she's Suri Cruise ... for a living.

Hagan's tumblr -- Suri's Burn Book -- with the subtitle "Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can't act like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)" shows photos of celeb kids with sharp tongue commentary. Hagan isn't a mom, but if she ever does become one, I wonder how she would feel if there were a website and book dedicated to poking fun of her kid. She's harsh.


In her "Suri voice" she says Jessica Simpson's kid is headed for Toddler & Tiaras, mocks the Pinkett-Smith kids telling them they are not cool, thinks Snooki's baby looks like a canned pumpkin, tells Blue Ivy to shut up, and thinks Seraphina Affleck needs some self-respect.

When she made fun of my man Ben's kid, it really stung (love him!). And I'm a fierce protector of Jessica Simpson -- her little Maxwell included. But at least she didn't call Snooki's baby a meatball like everyone else. I give Hagan credit for originality.

Look, I'm all for laughing and having a good time, but many of these kids can read this stuff, or they will when they get older because things on the Internet never die EVER. And now there's a whole book documenting these pathetic quips, which may give some a good chuckle, but are decidedly mean girl behavior. It's a parent's job to protect their kids from stuff like this, from people like this. But there isn't much a famous person can do, is there? How can they shield their kids from all the garbage written about them?

Aside from the kids who happen to be born into fame who get bashed, it's all written as if Suri wrote it herself, potentially alienating her from all her peers. This is Suri Cruise we're talking about -- the ever-protected one. How did Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and SCIENTOLOGY not put the kibosh on this already? Is there a lawsuit waiting to happen? I'm shocked Hagan's head isn't being sought by Xenu to be galactically smashed into a billion bits.

In the meantime, Hagan's preparing to poke fun at Kate Middleton's baby ... once that happens. Sigh. I'm waiting for one of these celebrity parents to speak up, and when they do, prepare for the wrath.

What do you think of Suri's Burn Book? Mean-spirited or okay?


Image via Barnes & Noble

Read More >