'Toddlers & Tiaras' Mom Who Feeds Her Daughter Straight Sugar Could Be Worse (VIDEO)

toddlers & tiarasWhat's a Toddlers & Tiaras mama supposed to do when her little showgirl starts acting all pooped? Poor little dumpling, those pageants are so draining. What could you possibly do to perk her up? Oh I know: POUR A FEW PACKETS OF SUGAR DOWN HER GULLET.

Susanna didn't look at all deranged or desperate when she did this to her daughter, Isabella, on the premiere episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. The 5-year-old complained that she was "feeling tired." Susanna did some speedy thinking: "Straight sugar just gives you instant energy!" Zoom. And before you start accusing me of judging -- yeah, you know what? I am judging. Who does this?

Advertisement

Oh whatever. I mean, once you're already in the kiddie pageant game, haven't you pretty much agreed to break all the rules of sane parenting? And would it really have been that different if she'd just handed Isabella a lollipop -- chemically speaking? (Full disclosure: I just ate a lollipop and I'm still "feeling tired.")

I thought about writing up a handy-dandy list of "5 Healthy Treats Stage Moms Can Give Their Reluctant Starlets to Get Their Little Asses in Gear." You know, like dried fruit, energy bars, trail mix, yogurt, whole-grain crackers with cheese, etc. But we kind of already know this, right? If I really cared, I would send a whole box full of these snacks to poor Susanna, who was clearly unprepared for the rigors of pageant-momming.

Oh well, at least it's not Go-Go Juice. I mean, heck, compared with that stuff, a few packets of sugar practically look like health food right? It's good to know where the basement of child nutrition lies.

What would you give your child if they needed a quick burst of energy?

 

Read More >