'Toddlers & Tiaras' Mom Dresses Her Kid in a Meat Bikini (Why, God, Why?)

meat bikini toddlers & tiarasAt some point or another, every parent has an experience that feels completely devastating. Perhaps your little one gets sick or, on the less dire but still crushing end of the spectrum, gets snubbed by a pal at preschool.

But nothing is quite so "devastating" for a mom as realizing that the Lady Gaga-inspired "meat bikini" her daughter is supposed to wear onstage just isn't going to work.

I guess that's the price you pay for the glory of having your child on Toddlers & Tiaras (you knew that was coming, right?).


Laci's mother wanted an outfit that would really "wow the judges."

"Hmm, let's see ... what hasn't been done already? Dolly Parton with fake boobs? Done. Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker outfit? Done. Madonna's gold cone bra? Dang it, that one's been done too!"

Really, what choice did she have besides the meat dress? I'm guessing she changed it to meat bikini because it required less slabs of ... whatever that dead animal was. Unfortunately, the meat wouldn't adhere properly to the swimsuit, resulting in the aforementioned "devastating" moment.

Poor little Laci. Not only did the kid have to make her entrance in a Gaga-esque "egg" (which didn't pan out so well), she had to suffer through a butchered attempt (ha!!) at conceptual couture that kept "dripping" on her bikini-clad self.

Bet you don't feel so bad about making your kid wear that ugly sweater she got from Grandma for Christmas now, right?

I suppose we can at least take comfort in the fact that none of the other contestants performed acts featuring trained wolves or dancing bears or any other carnivorous creature with sharp teeth.

What's the worst outfit you can possibly imagine seeing on Toddlers & Tiaras?


Image via TLC

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