Kate Gosselin Gets One Big Parenting Decision Very Right

For the past few weeks, mom of eight Kate Gosselin has been quietly dating a new boyfriend she says she won't introduce to her children. The mystery man is as yet unrevealed, but Gosselin's decision to keep him from her children is one I finally respect.

There has been a lot about Gosselin I don't get over the years. Her decision to put her whole family on a reality show is one of them. But the decision to wait on introducing a girlfriend/boyfriend makes a lot of sense and is actually really good parenting.

The fact is, children suffer immensely during divorce or loss of a parent. Seeing mom or dad dating someone new is very hard. A person may expect their kids to "be happy" for them, but realistically, kids are selfish. THEY want to be happy. They don't care so much if you are especially if that happiness is threatening to them.

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A new boyfriends or girlfriend is highly disruptive to kids and can be very upsetting. Look at Kim Richards on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is currently in a huge fight with her kids because she is moving in so quickly with a boyfriend they had never even met. The fact is, kids will struggle.

Those mothers who introduce their kids to every man they date are asking for rebellion, anger, and acting out. Let's face it: Dating doesn't always work. By all means, invite your children to meet someone you're serious about, but in the beginning stages when things are new and fresh, no child wants to see mom and dad "happy." They just want mom or dad to themselves.

It's selfish, too. I was recently talking to a friend who was going through a dramatic and tumultuous breakup with a woman who had a 4-year-old son. They had only dated about two months, but he had met the son and so the son was completely dragged into the drama. It was wrong, and in 20 years, I am certain they will pay the price.

If you are in a new relationship and you have kids, keep them separate until you know it's something that is going to last. Doing otherwise is just unnecessarily cruel, whether you mean it that way or not.

Did you introduce a boyfriend to your kids?

 

Image via rittyrats/Flickr

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