Natalie Portman Gives Birth to World's Most Complex Baby

natalie portmanCongrats to Natalie Portman and fiance Benjamin Millepied, who just announced the birth of their (as-yet-unnamed) son! Between an Oscar win and her first child, Portman's probably hoping this whirlwind of a year will start to calm down a little bit now. Well, I got news for ya, Natalie: You just welcomed a Gemini baby! Your wild ride is just beginning.


Trust me, I know what I'm talking about here -- my daughter is a Gemini, and babies born under this sign are ... not very baby-ish. The Gemini is known as the genius infant of the zodiac, which is awesome, but also means that kids born under the sign of The Twins (more on that whole twin thing in a minute) spend much of their babyhood rather irritated that their bodies haven't yet caught up to their minds. My daughter used to get this look on her face that made me think of a cantankerous old wizard trapped in the body of a chubby cherub wearing a pink onesie. In retrospect, I find it hilarious; back then, there were times when I was actually scared of my 6-month-old. Good luck to any well-meaning stranger trying to get a smile out of my kid. Most babies instantly light up when someone stands over the stroller and coos, "Who's that little cutie? What a cutie she is!" My daughter's typical response to this kind of infantile nonsense (which is what she would have called it, if she could speak) was a cold stare. People would literally take a step back. "My, what a ... serious baby you have!"

Which is not to say that Geminis don't like to laugh. This is where that twin, dual-nature, split-personality part comes into play: Gemini babies, when they're in the right mood, love to be silly and heartily appreciate a good joke. If, however, you do strike upon something that cracks your baby up, whether it's a funny face or sound effect or whatever, be prepared to do your little trick on command. Whenever she wants you to do it. Or else.

All in all, Gemini babies are fascinating little creatures who grow up to be equally fascinating adults (Bob Dylan, Johnny Depp, and Prince are all Geminis), so Natalie will never be bored. But she better not expect smooth sailing from here!

What sign is your baby?


Image via Josh Jensen/Flickr

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