Kanye West's Poem About McDonald's Is Absolutely Insane & Totally Relatable

In the whole history of the world, we know that someone has written a love letter to McDonald's before today. It might have been us. It might have been you. Maybe we all have, but nothing -- nothing -- ever penned could compare to the glorious insanity that is Kanye West's ode to french fries and McDonald's apple pie. Friends: The time has come for us all to unanimously agree with Kanye West, and it's about french fries. Because this is Kanye West, and of course it's about french fries!! Of course it is.


The poem was printed and released in Frank Ocean's much-anticipated magazine-slash-album Boys Don't Cry. Frank and Kanye have collaborated before in the past, but still! We didn't expect this. We never could have expected this.

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The poem, which is entitled The McDonald's Man, looks like this:

McDonald's man
McDonald's man
The french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
The salad bar and the ketchup made a band
Cus the french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
McDonald's man
I know them french fries have a plan
I know them french fries have a plan
The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band
To overthrow the french fries plan
I always knew them french fries was evil, man
Smelling all good and sh-t
I don't trust no food that smells that good man
I don't trust it
I just can't
McDonald's man
McDonald's man
McDonald's, damn
Them french fries look good tho
I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the fries
I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the fries
Even the McRib was jealous of the fries
I could see it through his artificial meat eyes
And he only be there some of the time
Everybody was jealous of them french fries
Except for that one special guy
That smooth apple pie.

So we have some questions. For example: Is Kanye West insane? Was this stream of consciousness, or did Kanye West pre-plan and plot the meter and rhyme here? Is Kanye West a genius? Did Kanye West just reduce America's collective psyche to 30 chaotic lines? Is this the matrix?

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These are questions with answers we assume we will never get. That is okay. At least we have this poem, and that will stay with us forever.

Thank you, Kanye West, for giving us the words that we never knew we needed. Thank you for giving us this capital-A Art, and thank you for loving McDonald's apple pies as much as we do. 


Image via Splash News

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