Orlando Bloom Teases Us With Naked Pic & We're Waiting for the Public Outrage

orlando bloom

I think it's safe to say we've had quite enough of the same ol' celebs making headlines for their all-too-common (near) nudity at this point. So I was very pleased to get an eyeful of a completely naked Orlando Bloom as he set out on a paddleboarding adventure with girlfriend Katy Perry, and quite frankly, I hope you were, too. (Trust me, even with certain areas censored, it was a nice view.) I'm almost certain that our ovaries can't stop doing backflips because it's so rare that celeb men get caught (or willingly) bare it all -- so we're just not sure how to stop all our drooling.


Truthfully, all I could do until just a moment ago was thank Katy for taking that bae-cation to Italy and giving us a front row view. However giddy as a school girl I may have been (and still sorta am), I continue to scratch my head waiting for this to turn into some major scandal to go down in history for the year of 2016. But nope. Never happened. And probably never will.

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And I don't have to tell you why, but I will anyway. It's because ... he's a goddamn man. Had this been any number of women -- even Kim (who famously defended her nude selfie as empowering), Amber, or Rihanna, who bare their bums (and sometimes more) on the regular -- society (both male and female) would want an explanation for their so-called raunchy or racy photo ops.

Why aren't they entitled to live their damn lives -- even if that means frolicking nude on a paddleboard? Why does it have to be viewed as vulgar when women decide they want to knowingly or even unknowingly be shot in the nude? Why aren't the men in the industry met with harassment and demands of insight like women are? It just doesn't seem right -- and in case you're wondering how often men also exploit themselves, think back to Usher's jaw-dropping Snapchat pic in the shower or even Dwyane Wade's hot cover on ESPN's body issue.

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There truly is no reason other than an outdated societal double standard that constantly holds women to a harsher standard -- a harsher standard that says we must conduct ourselves like ladies, but what the f**k does that even mean? Even Jennifer Lawrence, whose private photos were stolen (stolen!) in a damn hack, admitted to Vanity Fair, "I was just so afraid. I didn't know how this would affect my career." But why should it?

What makes the woman's naked body so scandalous in the moment but works of art later on when history replaces the present? Can't a nude selfie be art now?

Can't our nude photo shoots be art from the very beginning? As much as we've evolved over time, this seems to be one matter that's still pushing for evolution. So, the only question is when? When will women gain equality in even the most minor way? 

Don't worry, I'll wait for an answer and bide my time ogling Bloom's goods while I do so. 

Images via Clasos.com.mx / Splash News

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