Johnny Depp & His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

God, what a week. While we've been sipping white wine spritzers and cackling at the gossip columns, poor Johnny Depp had an Alexander-level bad week. It all started when his mother, Betty Sue Palmer, died on May 20. Then, two days later, he and his wife, Amber Heard, announced they were separating. One day after that, Amber officially filed for divorce with a smirk (probably) and a reminder that she never signed a prenup (allegedly). And that's not even covering what's been going down with his dogs. We'll say it for ya, Johnny: F***********ck.


The silver lining (barely silver; maybe it's more of a bronze or, like, pewter lining) is that Johnny scored one of the best, most high-powered celeb divorce attorneys in Hollywood, Laura Wasser. She's represented clients like Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Jennifer Garner, and Gwen Stefani, and has had a pretty good track record with them all. That means there's a chance she might be able to convince the court to let Johnny keep his money, even though he was too drunk in love (or just drunk, probably) to get Amber to sign a prenup.

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The two met when they filmed The Rum Diary in 2013, but they only got married last February. Their marriage, though, has been fraught with troubles, all of which were summed up nicely when they got in trouble for smuggling their dogs into Australia and followed that up with this disastrous apology video:

So, yeah. Mom dying + divorce filing + everyone re-watching that vid makes for a pretty rough week. To make matters worse, Johnny's latest movie, Alice Through the Looking Glass, premieres Friday, which means he'll have to wrap this whole week up with a public appearance and red carpet.

More from The StirJohnny Depp's Thank-You to Wife Amber Heard Shows His Softer Side

We have very little pity left in our hearts for Johnny Depp, but this really does suck. So, here. This is the best we can offer him right now: 

God bless ya, Johnny Depp. We'll be rooting for Amber in the divorce, sure, but we really do hope stuff gets better for you.


Update: On Friday, May 27, a judge granted Amber Heard a temporary retraining order against Johnny Depp, after she filed a domestic violence claim that the actor repeatedly hit her. Heard alleged in her filing that this incident on May 21 (to which the police responded, but cited no evidence of a crime) was not an isolated instance of abuse. A hearing will be conducted on June 17 (although the judge already denied some of Heard's other requests) and, until then, Depp has to stay 100 yards away from her.


Image via @Parisa/Splash News; Steve Collender/Shutterstock; Catalin Grigoriu/Shutterstock; mRGB/Shutterstock

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