Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen Are Reportedly Splitting (We're Blaming Ben Affleck!)

If the rumors are true, then the Summer of Celebrity Split-Ups™ (we're looking at you, Kermit) isn't over yet because Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are divorcing, even though they loved each other and were totally fine, like, a week ago.

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The "reports" from "sources" are saying things like "they're bickering non-stop lately" and "Gisele stormed out" and "$460 million at stake." Gasp! These are obviously 100 percent true and they definitely hate each other and their marriage is FOR SURE in shambles.

But then again, we used basically the same level of sarcasm when the Ben/Jen and Gwen/Gavin rumors were surfacing, before tragedy struck. We were ignoring the warning signs and chose to believe in love and that was clearly a mistake. So, okay. Maybe we should give the rumors a chance to live ...

Reason #1 Why T&G Are Divorcing: Tom let Ben Affleck's nanny (?? why) wear all four of his Superbowl Rings.

Why, Tom. Why did you do that?

Reason #2 Why T&G Are Divorcing: They don't have a good celebrity nickname.

Reason #3 Why T&G Are Divorcing: It's Ben Affleck's fault. Also: Vegas. Basically, Ben Affleck took Tom Brady to Vegas and now they're both getting divorced.

Reason #4 Why T&G Are Divorcing: Gisele saw the courtroom sketch of Tom and decided he was ugly and she was too beautiful. She's not wrong.

Okay, okay but. But, but, but. Did you see this photo Gisele posted? Look at how beautiful and happy they are in this Pinterest pose:

Happy birthday my love! We're so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you for always giving us so much love. We love...

Posted by Gisele Bündchen on Monday, August 3, 2015

Oh God. How could a family like that be broken up?? Stupid Ben Affleck -- it's all his fault.

 

Image via gisele/Instagram

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