Holly Madison Reveals Twisted Truth About Being Hugh Hefner's Girlfriend

I admit it -- I watched The Girls Next Door back in the day. Considering that the reality show ran for five seasons, I wasn't the only one who was wildly curious about life as one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends living inside the Playboy Mansion. According to Holly Madison, it wasn't at all as glamorous as it looked, and things got so bad that she even contemplated taking her own life.


Holly was once the "head girlfriend," for lack of a better term. She shared Hugh's bedroom with him, while Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt had their own rooms. She's detailed her experience in a new memoir out later this month, titled, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny.

Holly remembered the first time she met Hef, as a 21-year-old Hooters waitress in 2001. She said that he offered her drugs right then and there. "'Would you like a Quaalude?' Hef asked, leaning toward me with a bunch of large horse pills in his hand," she recounted.

When she declined, she said the mogul told her, "Usually, I don't approve of drugs, but you know, in the '70s they used to call these pills thigh openers." 

Um ... ew. That's all I have to say about that.

Despite the unfortunate first meeting, Holly ended up moving into the mansion as one of Hefner's official girlfriends that same year. She wrote in an extract, "Prior to moving into the Mansion, I'd been a fairly confident person, but it didn’t take long for my self-worth to crumble."

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She said that she became so miserable by 2002, that she pondered in the bathtub, "If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over ... Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading."

"Everyone thinks that the infamous metal gate was meant to keep people out. But I grew to feel it was meant to lock me in," she said.

Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine! Holly also wrote about how every room of the mansion was stocked with "trays of Johnson's Baby Oil, Vaseline and Kleenex," and the yellow carpets were stained with urine from various pets.

Even worse though was dealing with the other girls in the house, who engaged in "ruth-less mean girl-ing" to the point of stealing her clothes. On top of that, she was dealing with hypercritical Hugh, who allegedly hit the roof and "spat" at her when she cut her hair short as part of a makeover. "Any shred of confidence I found over the last few hours was quickly evaporating," she wrote about the incident.

Ugh, it sounds like she lived through a nightmare. Just goes to show you that reality TV doesn't always show the whole reality.

Are you surprised that living in the Playboy Mansion was such a terrible experience?


Image via Holly Madison/Instagram

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