Taylor Swift’s New Extreme Diet Is Totally Disturbing

taylor swiftThis morning's biggest celeb news was such a bummer, I can hardly stand to tell you. Over the weekend, while at an uber-cool, model-studded party in New York City, Taylor Swift ordered herself a piece of bread and some water. We're not even sure she actually ate that bread or if it was just a token gesture. Oh my stars and garters, could our Taylor be starving herself? Is this some new diet we should worry about, the new "Order Bread and Then Stare at It Longingly" diet? Why not order cocktails and oysters like a normal celeb, Swift? WHY.

We won't know until her publicist issues a statement explaining her spartan night out. (Aaaany minute now ...) But until then, I have a few theories about why Taylor Swift would order bread and water at a party at a hip restaurant.


1. It was all part of Taylor's ongoing project to make herself into the DULLEST celebrity ever to walk the planet. So far this plan is succeeding. 

2. Taylor is trolling us. She ordered bread on purpose because she knew it would spawn a thousand faux-concern blog posts. Like this one! Well played, Swift. You got me.

3. It's her misguided attempt at honoring Mother's Day by portraying the stereotypical self-sacrifice of mothers. "Oh no, nothing fancy for me, just bread and water will do."

4. This is Taylor's idea of indulging. Every other day of the week, it's kale salad and green juice, but when she's ready to party on the weekend, it's carbs: OMG, a piece of bread! GLUTEN, BABY!

5. It's performance art inspired by Shia LaBeouf and James Franco. I guess?

6. It was a polite gesture. Taylor felt obligated to order something since she was taking up space at the restaurant, but since it was 10:30 at night, she wasn't especially hungry, and she didn't want to order a cocktail because she's Taylor Swift.

7. There's something weird about ordering bread and water at a restaurant?

Why do you think Taylor ordered nothing but bread and water when she went out the other night?


Image via Pacific Coast News

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