Gwyneth Paltrow's Rumored 'Uncoupling Ceremony' Sounds Totally Obnoxious

Gwyneth PaltrowGywneth Paltrow is one of those women that I can't decide if I love to hate, or hate to love. Maybe a little bit of both. She's a sancti-mommy to the nth degree, yet somehow I can imagine myself enjoying a glass of (organic) sangria with her and kibitzing over split ends and the unpredictable emotions of pre-teen girls.

But sometimes something pops up about her that's just too weird, even for my mostly laid-back California ways. I could get behind the family trip the couple took with Apple and Moses as they announced their split, even if I really don't understand it. But now there are reports that she and soon-to-be-ex-husband Chris Martin underwent an uncoupling ceremony while in the Bahamas last week.


A source is saying that "they took part in a beach ritual performed by a Kabbalah Rabbi," on what they are referring to as their "breakup moon."

If rumors are to be believed, the two consciously uncoupled by reading from the sacred Kabbalah book Zohar, lighting a fire together, and tossing small stones into the ocean as a representation of their "wandering souls." They supposedly shared a parting kiss and said aloud, "Blessed are you in coming in and blessed are you in going out."

More from The Stir: 8 Ways Gwyneth Paltrow's Divorce Will Be So Much Better Than Yours

They also reportedly woke up at 5 a.m. every day to attend joint meditation and counseling sessions. You know, because if you don't like your spouse enough to stay married, try liking them before the sun comes up.

You know, if this is true, they really shouldn't get divorced. I can't imagine two people more compatible for each other than ones that would engage in this slightly crazy practice. If my ex-husband wanted to have an uncoupling ceremony with me, I'd look at him askance, say no thank you in my firmest, politest voice, and then later laugh about it with my girlfriends over wine.

Then again, with rumors abounding over their open marriage and the gossip that the couple plans to live together for awhile to make the transition easier for the kids, maybe they needed the ceremony to mark the end of their romantic relationship. Otherwise, it doesn't seem like much has changed.

Do you think an uncoupling ceremony could be beneficial to the divorce process?


Image via eLENA tUBARO/Flickr

Read More >