Charlie Sheen Gives 'Duck Dynasty' Star Phil Robertson One Heck of a Beating

Charlie SheenIt's pretty safe to say that exactly no one has been shy about voicing their opinions on the whole Duck Dynasty controversy over the past week. But wait until you get a load of Charlie Sheen's message to Phil Robertson, which is nothing short of epic.

Instead of simply throwing an insult or two at him, Charlie took to Twitter to dish out a full-fledged letter of disgust -- in an effort to make it very clear he didn't approve of Phil's homophobic comments.

Apparently Charlie cares a lot more about his gay friends than we ever would've imagined.


Here's what he had to say.

hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
beat down.
(I'll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)

your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.

the idea that you have a job
outside of dirt-clod stacking
is a miracle.

the only 'Dynasty' you are attached to might be the
re-runs of that dated show.

the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of
your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it's sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.

shame on you.
you're the only surviving
brain donor I've ever known.

when the gators and Egrets
kick you out of their
you need to make serious amends to those you have
radically offended.

on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I'm pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.

repulsed by you;
c sheen

hash tag;
Duck; that was me.


Damn. Tell us how you really feel, Chuck.

More from The Stir: 'Duck Dynasty' Star's Homophobic Rant Earns Him Swift Suspension From the Show

Sheesh! Charlie isn't always the most eloquent or tasteful individual -- but you gotta admit there's something a bit endearing about him going to such great lengths to stick up for his friends. Guess he's not a bad dude to have on your side when the going gets tough.

Of course, this little rant also serves as a reminder that Charlie is someone you never, ever, E-V-E-R want to cross. Especially if you pay attention to Twitter.

Do you think Charlie's words for Phil are spot on, or too harsh?


Image via Pacific Coast News

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