Melissa Gorga’s New Relationship Book Makes Her Marriage Sound Barbaric (PHOTOS)

Ericka Sóuter | Sep 24, 2013 Celebrities

gorga bookFans of The Real Housewives of New Jersey know what a tight marriage Joe and Melissa Gorga have. If it wasn't rock solid, his sister Teresa Giudice would have successfully broken them up seasons ago. Well, Melissa has finally revealed all the secrets to their happy union in her new book Love Italian Style and boy does it have tongues wagging. It might be the most sexist, misogynistic, barbaric book on love and relationships ever written. Seriously. Not kidding. If this is what it takes to make a marriage work, then I bet most women would would prefer to stay single. Take a look at the most outrageous bits of advice from Melissa and Joe.

 

Image via amazon.com

  • Melissa on why men cheat

    1

    Refusing to initiate is a Top Three reason men cheat. The ugliest girl in the world could come on to a man in that state of mind, and he might have to go for it. He thinks, At least someone wants me.

  • Melissa on why a wife must stay in shape

    2

    [A] woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband's pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.

  • Joe's view on sex with your wife

    3

    Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated ... Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.

  • Melissa on having sex whether you are in the mood or not

    4

    Even when I'm exhausted and not really in the mood, if it means a lot to Joe that we connect physically, I'll say, "I'm not so into it tonight, but let's go."

  • Melissa on meeting Joe's needs

    5

    In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times ... If I didn't give it to him once a day, he'd get upset.

  • Melissa on how to keep the peace

    6

    I can do something that pisses him off on a Monday, but if we had sex on Sunday night, it blows over more easily. But if we haven't done it for two days and I give him attitude? It could be a huge fight ... Happy guys let more go. Issues get brushed off. Quickies count. Say what you want, but it's the truth.

  • Why Joe won't ever stray

    7

    The way I see it, if a wife is a puttana, her husband will never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to actual whores, or strip clubs. He won't hit on women in bars, or drool over his friend's girlfriends or the secretary. He'll rush home to his wife, who makes sure he'll have a good time (the best time) in the comfort of his own home.

  • Melissa on the two types of sex in a marriage

    8

    There's real passionate sex and maintenance sex. You need them both for a healthy marriage. Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open, and the fights to a minimum.

  • Melissa on how to turn your man down easy

    9

    If it's a hard "no," I try to be nice about it. Don't swat him away, or say with a tone, "Leave me alone!" Eventually he will leave you alone more than you wish he would.

  • How Joe 'taught' her to be a good wife

    10

    His style was to make corrections and to teach me from the beginning days of our marriage exactly how he envisioned our life together. Joe always says, "You got to teach someone to walk straight on the knife. If you slip, you're going to get cut." Even if something didn't bother him that badly, he'd bring it up. He wanted to make sure that I knew, for example, if I ran out to CVS and he came home from work to an empty house, he didn't like it. He'd call me and say, "I don't care if you're out all day long. But I don't want to come home to an empty house."

  • Melissa on the proper roles for a man and wife

    11

    When gender roles are confused, sexual roles are, too. If he's at the sink and then changing diapers, then who throws down in the bed? In our marriage, Joe is always the man, doing masculine things. I'm the woman, and I do the female things, including housework.

  • How Melissa hides her bathroom business

    12

    Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge.

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