'Princesses: Long Island' Is a Train Wreck You Can't Stroll Away From

Oh. My. Gawd. Princesses: Long Island premiered last night on Bravo and I just have to tell you, I threw up a little in my mouth -- over and over again. That and oh ... I will probably watch again next week.

It's about six college-educated (clearly college means less than it did years ago) girls made out to look like a bunch of ignorant, spoiled brats. Whether or not they are like that in real life is anyone's guess, but they are painful to listen to (their accents are ridiculous) and they act like a bunch of clowns living in some alternate universe. The girls, I really can't call them women (nor do I think they would call themselves women), all live at home with their mommy and daddy (and one lives with just her mom) in massive mansions on Long Island in New York.


There is one relatively down-to-earth chick named Joey. The only one of the bunch that doesn't actually want to live with her parents. Of course she will end up being the villain -- because she appears to have a brain.

As for the others ... I was embarrassed for all of Long Island when they showed Ashlee drive through a part of town she called a "ghetto." I wanted to reach through the television and smack some sense into her. The scene seemed completely staged -- and the fact that she allowed herself to be filmed (and I am sure shot over and over again) talking about how she was uncomfortable and scared was pathetic.

But by far -- the best scene was with Jeff (who is the creepy 38-year-old boyfriend to 26-year-old Amanda) at a pool party at the plush estate of Erica's parents. Jeff was getting called out by another chick who claimed he used to stalk her on Facebook by "Poking" her all the time. No -- I am not joking. The scene was so ridiculous, it was priceless. And it created the best line of the show -- said by Jeff -- at 46 seconds into the clip below. "Take a stroll. Just take a stroll." Watch this train-wreck for yourself ...

Bravo TV Official Site - Amanda vs. the Typical South Shore Girl

Take a stroll ... it's the new go-to line in our house. You see, in the name of research (for work, of course), I watched Princesses with my husband (age 40), my brother-in-law (age 18), and my father (only slightly older than the dads on this show), and I wish I recorded their reactions -- because that would have been more entertaining than the show. They were covering their eyes, throwing their hands up in disgust, and made me promise I would never make them watch it again. It was just all so cringe-worthy ... and kind-of sad. 

Why people want this kind of fame, I will never understand. But as a viewer -- it is just so hard to turn away from the insanity. I guess that's why we watch Teen Mom and fawn over The Kardashians, right?

But on a personal level ... this show is just an embarrassment. I grew up in Queens -- which is a stone's throw from where this reality show takes place. As a teen I swore I would never move to Long Island because my impression was something similar to what these women portray. But the reality is -- these women are not Long Island. These women are 1 percent of the 1 percent -- and they live all over the country.

All I have to say is ... take a stroll.

Did you watch? Will you watch again?

Image and video via Bravo

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